


The Law of Kynde

by defragmentise (croixsouillees), spirithorse



Series: Kingmaker [1]
Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-08 17:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13462824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/croixsouillees/pseuds/defragmentise, https://archiveofourown.org/users/spirithorse/pseuds/spirithorse
Summary: Selene Vass longs for the day she can leave the court and experience the world before the war between Hyland and Rolance tears it apart. She gets that chance when General Georg Heldalf offers her all the wonders of the world. And all of its horrors.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have a great fondness for Selene and Muse and I always want to write them more. All Glory Ends in Night just gave me a chance to do that within the ‘verse. This takes place about seventeen years before the events of All Glory Ends in Night. The title is taken from Geoffry Chaucer’s The Book of the Duchess. Kynde was a common way to say nature (like the way of acting or being for a thing).

“While I lived with him who was my lover,  
Death was creeping stealthily into my bedroom,  
It forced me from my house,  
It cut me off from my lover,  
It set my foot toward the land from which I shall not return.”  
\- “An Assyrian Elegy,” in _Your Thwarts in Pieces, Your Mooring Rope Cut: Poetry from Babylonia and Assyria_ , Erika Reiner

* * *

 

The grand ballroom was stuffy, the windows fogging over with the sheer number of people were in the room. It was made worse by the glittering chandeliers with their candles and the swirling couples at the other end of the hall. Selene turned her head to watch them twirl in a whirl of skirts and tails. Some part of her was envious of the dancers, lovely partnered couples without a care in the world. Selene ached to join them, but she lacked a proper partner.

She lifted her head slightly, careful to keep it turning into a supplication. She could see similar motions from other ladies around the room, but those were the desperate ones. If she and Tessa passed close enough to one, she was sure that she would smell the horrifically cloying smell of perfume and their own natural scent. Selene wouldn’t put it past them to be trying to augment their scents, everyone was desperate.

The war had decimated the noble families. They had been the ones to proudly send their sons into battle and their daughters to the capital to run the affair. Their sons had died first, leading charges into Hyland and Lohgrin. Their daughters had taken over to be lost in the same way. Then the empire had shifted to the daughters and sons of merchants and commoners, and the nobles had watched as they won glory. Their own glory was fading. Lohgrin had been in pieces for years now and only Hyland was resisting, but their own children weren’t involved in that. They were carefully hoarded in the capital to try and gain a seat on the emperor’s council or cling to what little wealth remained to them.

There were only two families that could really be called noble anymore, the emperor’s and his wife’s. Everyone else was just playing at it.

She reached back to push her hair away from her neck, trying to draw any cool air towards her. Selene heard Tessa make a sound, but she ignored it. She wasn’t displaying, anyone close to her would know that. Then again, she was the empress’ niece. She was a prize to be taken, beta or not. But that was why she didn’t care for any of them. She would prefer to be looking over her lessons or doing needlework to listening to another noble declare their love to her.

Selene pulled Tessa closer to her side, tucking the omega safely against her. Tessa might not be as desirable as the niece of the empress, but she was noble and everyone there was looking. Selene patted Tessa’s hand, giving the dancers one last look. She frowned when she saw Elaine dancing with a man who was markedly not her fiancé. Selene swayed in place before shaking her head. She didn’t want to be hauling the other girls out of awkward situations, she wanted to have fun for once. Besides, she was sure that Nadia had already noticed and she would make sure Elaine was aware of her anger.

Selene smiled at the thought, turning her attention back to Tessa. Anything that meant that she wouldn’t get a scolding was fine by her. She wasn’t a child to be reprimanded anymore. She was eighteen, and old enough to make her own choices without her aunt looking over her shoulder.

Selene gave the ballroom a bored glance before tugging on Tessa’s arm. “Come on. Let’s get some drinks and find a spot by the windows. We might be able to breathe there.”

Tessa nodded miserably, her face half hidden behind a handkerchief. Selene felt sorry for her, the scent from all of the guests must have been overwhelming. Selene wanted to offer her own handkerchief, but she was sure that it would only make it worse. Tessa was better with her own scent blocking things out, at least for the moment.

She got a better hold on Tessa’s arm, practically dragging her over to the tables set up on the far side of the hall. It wasn’t that Tessa couldn’t follow, it was just that the tangle was too much. That and some overly interested alphas took it on themselves to try and touch and draw Tessa away.

Selene turned on one and snarled, watching as the man recoiled. He took two steps back before he turned to look at Tessa. From the look on his face, he expected her to push Selene away and come with him. But he was going to be disappointed. Tessa hadn’t taken the handkerchief from her face, but Selene could feel the rumble of her growl through her arm.

Selene reached over to pat Tessa’s hand, but her attention never left the man. “Back off.”

The man rumbled out his own growl, Selene ignoring the threat. “Excuse you. I wish to talk to Lady Loraine.”

“It sounds like she doesn’t want to speak to you.” Selene paused as Tessa lifted her hand away and made an obvious dismissive motion. The man gasped, taking a step back. Selene grinned at him, nudging Tessa with her hip. “Go on. The scent of you is making us sick.”

She turned around before she could hear what the man said in response. All of her attention was on steering Tessa towards the drink table.

They battled through the crowd, Selene drawing a deep breath when they reached the table. The air there was cooler, and less pungent. It was enough to get Tessa to shift the handkerchief, but not take it away. Selene was sure that wouldn’t happen until they were back in their quarters, but at least it was a little bit of a break.

Selene scanned the crowd, almost tempted to brave it against to find her aunt. She didn’t think that Nadia would mind, not really. They had stayed long enough to be polite, which was all that mattered. If any marriages were being arranged, they would be done away from them, at least until Nadia got wind of them.

She rocked up onto her tip toes, sighing when she couldn’t spot her aunt. It was likely she was lost in a knot of nobles and military generals vying for Emperor Dorann’s attention. Selene leaned back into Tessa, frowning when she felt her friend turn.

She turned too, glaring at the blond man who stood by the table. Selene looked him up and down, taking in the military uniform that he wore. He stood steady under her gaze, strange for an alpha. Instead he just raised his glass in a salute to her. “Well played.”

Tessa shrunk back against her side, but Selene just glared at the man. “I won’t hesitate to do the same to you.”

The man nodded and took a step back. “No need. I’m just taking shelter like you. Things like this try my patience.” He gestured towards the table before stepping to the side, giving the two of them enough space. “Try the lemonade. It’s very good.”

Selene huffed, nudging Tessa towards the table. She kept her to one end of the table and herself between Tessa and the man. With the way that Tessa was looking, she was one scent away from throwing up. That was enough of an excuse for anything, including snarling and shouting at the man until he left. Someone would come to investigate and some desperate noble would want the glory that would come with helping them. Selene eyed the man up and down.

He wasn’t from one of the noble families, she could tell that. Selene had met most of them as Nadia’s lady-in-waiting. He was probably one of the commoners that had worked his way up the ranks. One of the ones that Emperor Dorann spoke so highly of.

Selene reached out to grab a glass of lemonade, passing it over to Tessa. She looked at her friend carefully, watching as Tessa stared at the lemonade. Tessa’s blanched, the expression on her face enough for her.

Selene took Tessa’s arm again, leaning close to speak to her over the crush. “Don’t drink it, press it to your temple and hold on tight. I’m going to get you away from here.”

“But…”

“My aunt will forgive us, especially if you’re feeling sick.” Selene frowned and pressed a hand to Tessa’s forehead. There was a bit of warmth there, Selene frowning. It was hard to pick out individual scents in the crowded room, but she was sure that if she got clear air she would be able to smell the start of Tessa’s heat. Selene dropped her hand and shook her head. “Come on, let’s get you comfortable and tucked in. I’ll sit up with you until the others get back.”

It was a measure of how bad she was feeling that Tessa didn’t bother to try and argue with her any longer. Selene looped her arm more securely around Tessa’s arm, looking for a way out. She didn’t want to push through the crush to the door, she was sure that Tessa would be overwhelmed by the crowd. Selene bit her lip, turning in place.

She almost missed the click of a door through the noise of the crowd. Selene turned around, raising her eyebrow as the blond man nudged a section of the windows open. They swung easily on its hinges, Selene leaning close to the breath of fresh air. She felt Tessa move beside her, Selene shifting so her friend could breathe in the air. It was more important for her to watch the man, trying to judge what he was doing.

The man nodded toward the open door. “I haven’t just been standing her to avoid dancing and unwelcome conversations. It’s the perfect place to sneak out and take the air.” He stepped away from the door, giving them a nod. “Go on ahead. The air will do her good. I’ll alert the guards.”

“Why?”

“So they can prepare the room and make sure that you aren’t disturbed.”

“And you can do that?”

The man raised an eyebrow, but nodded down at his uniform and his medals. “I have some authority here.”

Selene looked him up and down before deciding not to argue. There was no need to antagonize the man, not while he was helping them. He was about the only alpha in the room that would. Most of them would be happy to let Tessa linger even with Selene snarling at them.

She nudged Tessa over towards the door, helping her friend duck through. She lingered behind to give the man one last look before giving him a nod. “Thank you…”

“Georg. Georg Heldalf.” He took her hand, bending over like he was going to kiss the back of it, but he stopped short.  Selene smiled at the gesture, reaching out to flick one of his medals.

“Thank you, General Heldalf.”

“No. For you, I am just Georg.”

Selene looked him over, nodding as he dropped her hand. “Georg then.”

She slipped out of the door, feeling his gaze lingering on her. Selene didn’t look back, that would be too encouraging. Annoying as his presence had been for Tessa’s sake, there was no question that he was handsome and at least had good sense. Besides, he had stood next to an omega just before her heat and done nothing. He’d only had eyes for her, and that had made her feel special.

Selene shook off the feeling, taking Tessa’s arm in her own. Those thoughts could wait until Tessa was tucked up safely in her room. Only then could she daydream about commoner generals and their impeccable manners.

* * *

“Lady Elaine is looking a bit flustered.”

Selene turned to gaze to look at the lady in question, smiling to herself. The lady in question did look a bit pink in the cheeks, and she was fanning herself rapidly. Selene lifted her head slightly, trying to get a scent on the breeze. She couldn’t get anything concrete, not with all the perfume in the room. She was getting nothing more than the disgusting mix of natural scents and the perfume meant to enhance it. It was unbearable to her, so she couldn’t imagine how Georg was handling it. Then again, those perfumes were designed with alphas and omegas in mind, to make a scent more pleasing. Betas weren’t usually brought into the equation with things like that.

She sighed, and looked back over at Georg. He had looked away, his attention on the rest of the ballroom. She doubted that he really saw anything, he was just scanning the room for threats. She rolled her eyes and pinched his arm. “This isn’t your battlefield.”

“It’s not?”

“No. It’s mine. And the way you watch is by carefully ignoring everything.” Selene grinned at him before nudging him over to one side of avoid a knot of people who were gossiping. She waited until they were past most of the people before talking in a low voice. “She’s been engaged to a young general for years now, but he’s finally back from his posting. Apparently, she’s anticipated the wedding. I’m surprised that she’s allowed out here.”

“I thought she was in your aunt’s care?”

Selene shook her head. “As soon as her fiancé came back she was given back into the care of her family, her education done.”

“Apparently not.”

“It’s not my aunt’s fault if she doesn’t listen to what she was taught.”

Georg chuckled, a smile crossing his face. It was gone a moment later, but Selene was used to the changes. He wasn’t a creature of the court, he was more used to the battlefields. He had been made on them, which was probably why he had been going around the week’s worth of events with a sour look on his face. Emperor Dorann’s demands to call a halt to the war was enough to make plenty of people worry. Lohgrin might not be a problem anymore, but there was still Hyland to consider. It was good news for the empire, but bad news for the people who had made their start from the war, like Georg.

Selene wasn’t sure what would happen to the soldiers or their generals, it hadn’t been something that she had paid attention to. She had been caught up in rush from being invited to the capital. And then she had been busy with the various lessons that Nadia had made her do. Everything had been bent on turning her into a proper court lady, although Selene didn’t know how useful it would be with the way that the court was dissolving. There would always be a place for the emperor, but Selene was sure that all the flighty ladies and men would be gone soon enough.

She tugged on his arm, turning him away from the center of the party and to the windows. She caught a glimpse of Tessa standing with Isabella on the far side of the room. Tessa looked up at her, the two of them stepping towards them only to come to a stop. Selene tipped her head to the side, surprised to see Isabella dragging Tessa away. She rocked up onto her tip toes to look at where they were going.

She frowned when they kept heading away from the two of them. It wasn’t like Isabella, she was always up for gossip. Tessa was her best friend. They’d never turned away from her before.

“Selene?”

She turned her attention back to Georg. He had a worried look on his face, Selene smiling and shaking her head in the face of it. “I’m fine. I just…thought I saw someone.”

“In this crowd?”

“My battleground.” Selene flashed him a bright smile, glad when that soothed some of his worry. She got a better hold on his arm, scanning over the party. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“No matter what Emperor Dorann says, the whole army won’t just disappear.” Georg’s jaw worked for a moment before he shook his head. “I’ll probably sent to a boarder fort.”

Selene wrinkled her nose. “That sounds lonely and…boring.”

Georg nodded, his gaze distant. “But, it’s for Rolance and it’s my duty.”

Selene patted his arm, not sure if she was showing her sympathy or her pity. Georg seemed to accept it anyway, leaning more heavily against her. Selene smiled and looked down at the arm that he had looped through hers. His hand was visible, Selene staring at his blank ring finger. She smiled to herself, leaning his head on his arm.

The court might be disappearing, but none of them had ever interested her. None of them had gone out to really see the world, they had been too wrapped in their families and their posturing. Georg was a breath of fresh air among all of that. She eyed the rest of the party, counting down the hours that they’d been there. It was just enough to consider sneaking away. It was a nice enough day that the two of them could just sit outside and talk. It might be the kind of move that invited gossip, but she didn’t care. It was a change from the same day in and day out.

Selene cleared her throat, about to suggest the move when a familiar voice called for her. “Selene!”

She turned her head, wincing when she saw Nadia walking out of the crowd. Selene winced at the expression on her aunt’s face. Nadia was angry, and the cause of it wasn’t quite apparent, which made it hard to talk her way out of it.

She turned all the way around, slipping her arm slightly from Georg’s. “Your highness.”

Nadia glared at her, making a short gesture with her fan. Selene looked down at the fan, biting her lip. She stayed where she was for a moment longer before pulling her arm completely away from Georg’s.

That seemed to settle whatever had been bothering Nadia, because she nodded sharply. She let her hand drop to her side before offering her arm out to Selene. “Pardon me, General Heldalf, but I need to speak to my niece.”

“Of course, your highness.”

“Do enjoy the rest of the party.”

Georg bowed to her before walking away, Selene watching him go until Nadia tugged on her arm.

She stumbled after her aunt for a few steps. Selene cursed under her breath as she got her feet under her, surprised that Nadia didn’t call her out for it. She reached down to tug her skirts back into the right arrangement. Only then did she look over at her aunt.

Nadia wouldn’t look at her, but that didn’t mean much. It just gave her time to square her shoulders and set her jaw in preparation for the argument that would follow.

Her aunt took her to the other side of the party, Selene trying to hide her nerves the longer her aunt stayed silent. They stepped out of the ballroom and onto the balcony to the gardens. Nadia seemed happy to just promenade, which didn’t seem fair. There were plenty of other ladies-in waiting that were probably in more danger than she had been. Her aunt should have grabbed one of them, or one of the girls who needed a break or a reason to bow out of the party. She was just impatient to get back to talking with Georg. He had promised to tell her about his time on the border between Rolance and Lohgrin.

Selene went to twist to look over her shoulder, stopping when Nadia jerked her back around. She shot an annoyed look at her aunt, meeting an equally as annoyed look. Nadia pulled her closer, holding her tightly as they continue to walk away from the ballroom and towards the gardens.

“What were you doing?”

Selene looked away from her aunt, tipping her chin up. “Talking to General Heldalf. He was telling me about the things he’s seen with the army.” She looked at her aunt out of the corner of her eye, not surprised to see that Nadia didn’t believe her. Selene huffed and focused on the garden. “You don’t believe me.”

“Oh I believe you. I just don’t believe your intentions were only that. Nor do I trust his intentions.”

“We were just talking!” Selene jerked her arm out of Nadia’s. She turned to glare at her aunt, annoyed when her aunt just kept walking. “I’ve never been anywhere in my life.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is! I’ve only been at home and in Pendrago, but he’s been all over Rolance. I like hearing about it.”

Nadia sighed and finally turned to look at her. She looked Selene up and down before nodding. “I understand, but I know you know better than to walk so openly unescorted.”

“How can I be unescorted at a ball?”

“Selene!” The sound of Nadia snapping her name made her shake, Selene not sure if it was the beginning of fear or anger. Nadia didn’t seem to notice, she had just pulled up her fan and was tapping it against the palm of her other hand. “You know what I mean. Everyone could see the two of you. Everyone could _smell_ the two of you.”

“Incidental.”

“Even still, how do you expect anyone to think you are respectable if you’re off flirting with men?”

“Maybe I don’t want to be respectable?” Selene threw her hands in the air. “Maybe I don’t want to be stuck here to be passed along to whatever noble wins my parents’ and your approval. Maybe I want something a little more.”

“Like what?”

“To see the world! You’ve taught us about all these interesting things that we can’t see.”

“There were good reasons for it.”

“I know, the war, but that’s ending.”

“Not if your beau has anything to say about it.”

“He’s not my-”

“Selene, listen.” Nadia glared at her for a moment before sighing. “Things are difficult at the moment because Dorann is opposed to the war. Not everyone agrees with him. General Heldalf is one of them. They believe that Hyland is too much of a threat to leave alone. A treaty won’t satisfy them, they want to conquer it.”

Selene looked at her aunt cautiously, shifting in place. “What does that have to do with me?”

“It would be good political sense to have one of their party married to the empress’ niece. That kind of move will gain them political leverage that they don’t have.” Nadia took a step forward, reaching out to brush a piece of Selene’s hair behind her ear. “I don’t want you to get stuck in that. I’ve seen too many friends go down that road only to have their husband turn away from them. In those marriages, you’re only the center of attention until you’ve been caught. Then you don’t matter.”

“That only matters if I’m being courted.” Selene tried to ignore the way her heart sped up at the thought. Georg Heldalf was a handsome man, and one of the few that seemed interested in Selene, not Lady Vass, niece of Empress Nadia. He liked to joke and laugh, which was far more than the careful posturing of the other people of the court. To be courted by him wouldn’t be a bad thing.  If she was courted by him, she wouldn’t say no.

Nadia held her gaze for a moment before shaking her head. “Oh Selene, we can all see you, even if you can’t. Just, be careful.”

“I’m always careful.”

Nadia sighed, closing her eyes. Selene chose to take that as a dismissal. She turned on her heel and went to walk away. She wasn’t sure where she would go, because she was sure that Nadia would prevent her from talking with Georg again. Then again, she was sure that she could always signal to him. There had been one boring garden party that Georg had taught her the hand signals that the army used. She could use the ones for retreat and confer, and she was sure that he would get it. They could find somewhere that Nadia wouldn’t bother the two of them.

Selene took a few steps away, freezing when Nadia spoke again.

“Selene, you do know he’s married.”

Her mind flashed to the image of Georg’s hands, bared of any rings. She licked her lips, trying to keep her voice steady. “But they’re dead.”

“No. She lives just a few streets down from the palace. You’ve met her at a few parties. I remember you raved about how Kara was a breath of fresh air.”

Selene tensed, remembering the lively red head that had joked with her through many afternoon teas. She tried to remember if there had been a ring on Kara’s finger, but she couldn’t picture the woman’s hands. All she could remember were the way that her smile had looked and the way her green eyes had flashed with mirth as she had leaned close to whisper to her.

_“They say that women with green eyes like you and me are witches. I just think we see things more clearly.”_

Selene swallowed, wanting to shake her head. She didn’t want to give Nadia the satisfaction of knowing how shaken she was. It didn’t matter. She didn’t want it to matter.

She didn’t really _know_ Kara after all, they had just met a few times. That wasn’t enough to stop her from wanting, so it wasn’t a good enough reason to stop. But Nadia couldn’t know that. She licked her lips, turning to look at Nadia out of the corner of her eye.

Her aunt looked at her sadly, reaching out to touch her arm. The touch was brief, Nadia stepping past her. “I didn’t tell you that to hurt you. I just want to keep you safe.”

She stood still as she watched Nadia walk back onto the balcony and back towards the party. Selene scanned the windows of the ballroom, quickly finding where Georg waited by the windows. She met his gaze, feeling her breath come quickly. She had to make a choice, except that it wasn’t much of a choice at all.

Selene glanced over at where her aunt was walking down the balcony, making sure that Nadia wasn’t looking. Then, she raised her hand to signal to Georg.

* * *

Selene opened her eyes as she felt fingers combing through her hair. She was tempted to turn her head back to look, but she didn’t want to disrupt the moment. She was comfortable where she was, and it was easy to press her nose against the pillows and smell them, the faint scent of rose entwined with Georg’s smoke and metal smell. It was comforting and familiar after so many days spent in each other’s company.

She glanced over at the windows, smiling to herself. It was early in the morning, not that it was any worry. Her aunt had gone with most of her ladies-in-waiting to the summer palace just outside of the city. She and Dorann would be watching military reviews and speaking to the council outside of the city. It was a tradition, and meant that she would be alone in the palace for a week. Alone except for Lady Elaine who was expecting any day now. All of the palace was focused on her, not on Selene who was as quit as a mouse and concentrating on her studies. The hint of the scandal that hovered over Lady Elaine was too delicious.

Everyone knew that it was hard for alpha females to conceive, but Elaine’s husband had done it after their first meeting, which had seemed a bit rushed. That and the timing didn’t add up, which implied that Elaine had not been as true to her fiancé as she had always claimed.

Compared to that, Selene was not worth the attention, nor was the presence of Georg. After all, Emperor Dorann’s best general was expected to be around the palace. He was just another person waiting for the news that would come out of the extended council meeting.

Georg’s hand slid away from her hair and down onto her neck. His fingers lingered there for a moment before starting to massage. Selene practically purred leaning back into his touch. She allowed herself a moment to enjoy his touch before reaching back to stroke her fingers down his arm. “Shouldn’t I be doing this to you?”

“Why?” Georg chuckled, digging into a knot. Selene bit her lip to keep back a moan, but she was sure that he heard the bits of it that slipped out. He shifted behind her, starting to work on her shoulder in earnest. “I’ve just been waiting around and drilling with my old comrades in the Platinum Knights. You’ve been sitting with Elaine and listening to all of that.”

“You say that like its not entertaining.”

“Is it?”

Selene hummed, eventually lifting her hand to wiggle it. She felt sorry for Elaine, even as she felt that she had done something very stupid. If she had come to the rest of them sooner, then they could have helped her before this became a problem. It was an unspoken rule with Nadia’s ladies-in-waiting, they supported each other no matter what happened.

She let her hand drop back to the bed, content to let Georg work on her shoulders. Selene looked back at the windows, trying to judge the time. It didn’t really matter what they did, but she had to keep a promise to her aunt. She had to visit one of the orphanages in the city to help with their lessons and talk about the educational programs. Nadia had left her everything she needed to say, and she wasn’t about to miss that, not even with Georg as a temptation. There were some things that she would never skip out on. Still, that was hours away and there was no reason for her to roll out of bed. She could stay with Georg until then.

Selene shivered as Georg’s hands swept down her back and onto her leg. He stroked his hand over her thigh before it dropped to rest over her. She reached down to take his hand, tangling their fingers together.

The silence fell comfortably over them, Selene not sure if she wanted to drift back to sleep or urge another round. Both sounded good, but she was almost too lazy to make a start on either of them. Instead, she curled her fingers between Georg’s and let herself drift.

She didn’t know how long they laid in silence, she just perked up when Georg shifted. She turned her head to look at him, getting a glimpse of a concerned expression before he was sitting up. Selene pushed herself up to sit beside him, surprised when Georg drew her close. She tucked herself against him, frowning when he pressed his face into her hair.

She let him hold her close for a moment before twisting in his hold. She flung one leg over his, straddling him so she could cup his face in her hands. Even then Georg wouldn’t look at her. Selene rubbed her thumbs over his cheekbones, prepared to wait him out, but Georg crumbled quickly.

“I’m going to be leaving.”

Selene froze, staring at him. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved that he met her gaze or not.

Georg gave her a long, searching look before nodding. “I’ve known since before the council left.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Selene didn’t bother to keep the anger out of her voice, almost glad that Georg flinched.

He dropped his gaze, talking at her stomach instead of to her. “I didn’t want to, not until I knew where I was going. But I didn’t want to keep it from you any longer.”

“Where?” The question slipped out before she could stop it.

She thought she saw annoyance flash across his face, but it was gone quickly. Georg just ended up shrugging. “It depends on what the council talks the emperor into. If it’s war, then I’ll be sent to the front. If not, then I’ll be making the rounds of the border forts to get them in order. Either way, it could be a while.”

Selene let go of his face, rocking back slightly. He reached out to steady her at her waist, Selene barely noticing it. She stared blankly at the headboard, trying to think what that would mean.

She knew that it would mean she would be stuck with the court, going through the same patterns with the same people. The other ladies-in-waiting she didn’t mind, but she didn’t know how long they would be staying around. Elaine would be leaving them soon, and Isabella had said that her family was going into negotiations with the omega that had been courting her. Everyone would start to go; even Tessa. Even her when she found someone. She at least had the security to know that Nadia would never let her go without knowing that Selene liked the match, but with that came the horror of being alone. The others would go and start their own lives, and Nadia might take in more girls, but she would remain.

All the while Georg would be too far away from her, doing his duty. One part of her screamed that he would be forgetting her, an idea that was even worse than him getting killed in the war. If he forgot her, then she didn’t know what she would do. Her window out into the world would be gone. That was almost as suffocating as Georg forgetting about her.

She clenched her hands into fists, only looking up when Georg took one of them. He held it carefully in his hand before leaning forward. Selene jumped as his mustache brushed across her knuckles just before his lips did. She shivered at his touch, meeting his gaze.

Georg nodded at her before turning her hand over and coaxing her fingers over. As soon as she gave in he kissed her palm. “That wasn’t the only reason I didn’t ask you.”

Selene sucked in a quick breath, struggling to get the words out around it. “What’s the other one?”

“I wanted to know where I was going, because I wanted to ask you to come along.”

Selene stared at him, trying to make the words make sense. She had never expected an offer like that, especially with everything that would come with that. She frantically tried to get her thoughts in order, but they spilled out as quickly as they came to her mind.

“Is it allowed?”

“For higher officers, yes.”

“My aunt…”

“Wouldn’t have to know, at least until you’re too far away to scold.”

“Your wife?”

That question got him to hesitate. A stormy expression crossed his face before he mastered himself, Georg tilling his head up. “I don’t see what she has to do with it.”

Selene’s heart beat faster with that answer. Georg could have said a hundred things, but the dismissal said so much more. The two of them had to have married out of convenience, it was the only explanation for the way he talked about her and the lack of a ring. Kara wasn’t the first in his thoughts, she was. That was the only thing that made sense and the only thing that mattered.

She twisted the hand that Georg held, holding it tightly within her own. “I’ll go where you go. Always.”

Georg smiled, his free hand coming up to cup the back of her head. “That’s all I want.”

Selene squeezed his hand before leaning forward to kiss him, savoring the movement of his lips and the warmth of his body against hers.

* * *

Selene looked at the wide expanse of hills that rolled away from them. She took a deep breath of the clear air. It was better than Pendrago, the city and the palace had been clogged with so many smells. It wasn’t until she had gotten away that she had realized it. Selene stretched her arms above her head, sighing in contentment.

She had been on the road with Georg and his troops for months and she had never gotten sick of it. The world as wide and wonderful as she had always pictured. It was just a shame that she hadn’t been able to bring too much with her. She just said that she was going to visit Elaine and her new baby, but they lived just in the next town so she hadn’t been able to take much. Nadia would have been suspicious if she had brought everything she had needed for traveling with Georg for months. That left her without anything left to record the experience and in clothes that her mother would hate to see her in.

Selene looked down at her clothes, plucking at the shirt. She’s worn the dresses that she had brought with her down to nothing in the first months, and she’d donated the rags to the medic. It had been easy to buy something more suitable to travel in, loose pants and a shirt instead of the dresses that she had worn in court. It made her feel completely different from the Selene had had been trapped in Pendrago. Back then she’d been ornamental and stagnant. Out here, she was constantly changing. It felt good, like she was becoming something that she was meant to be and all it had taken was her running away with an army on border patrol.

She turned in place staring up at the mountains behind her. They had been creeping ever close to the mountains that marked the border with Hyland. Selene couldn’t remember if there were any forts there, but it had been a long while since she’d been in map room. She’d been welcome once, when she was still wary of everything and unsure of her place. Selene was sure that she was still welcome, except that she had other things to do, like take horseback riding lessons from Oscar or learn to read the lay of the land from Noah. Sitting in the map room and listening to military strategy wasn’t interesting compared to all of that.

Selene tipped her head to the side, studying the lay of the land. Noah and a few of the others had said that there were an old shrinechurch in the area, long abandoned. Selene couldn’t imagine there would be a seraph left in it. Most of the seraphim had dedicated themselves to the war effort to help Rolance quell the evils that had started the war. But an old shrinechurch was something to see, something human that nature had started to reclaim. Selene had found that she enjoyed looking at that kind of thing. She hadn’t practiced her sketching much in Pendrago but it made her want to try. Something to draw in could be found in the next village, once they got there. Still, that was no reason to ignore it. She might as well fix it in her memory for when she could sketch it out.

She reached back to fix her hair, twisting it up into a loose bun. Noah hadn’t told her exactly how far it was, but she had the time to make the trek. The troops were setting up for the night, which would take a long while. She could be there and back before it got dark. Selene was sure that someone would miss her around the camp, but everyone was used to her wandering off.

She nodded to herself and went to walk away when the sound of a horse made her pause. Selene turned to look, raising her hand to wave at Georg as he cantered over. She expected him to wave back, but he just urged his horse closer. Selene dropped her hand, watching as he pulled the horse up.

The horse tossed its head at the rough treatment, but Georg didn’t seem to notice. He leaned over the front of the saddle, trying to talk to her even as the horse tried to turn in a circle. It was eventually brought to a stop with a series of sharp jerks on the reins, Selene wincing at the rough treatment.

Georg didn’t seem to notice or care, his attention was completely on her. “What are you doing?”

“Going for a walk.” Selene gestured out towards the hills. “Noah told me that there was something-”

“No.”

“What?” Selene blinked at him before throwing up her hands in frustration. “Why?”

“We’re too close to Hyland.”

Selene crossed her arms over her chest, giving Georg a skeptical look. “We’re at peace with Hyland.”

“Officially. But that means nothing.” Georg gave the mountains a serious look, the same look he had been giving everything since they had ridden up to the mountains. Some of the men had started to look frightened, but Georg just looked wary. Selene shifted in place, feeling a growing worry herself. She rubbed at her arms, watching as Georg turned his attention back to her. “They’ll be scouting on this side of the border.”

“If it’s just a scouting party then we have nothing to worry about, right?”

Georg shook his head. “Not if it’s the Blue Valkyries. They’re the terror of the Hyland army.”

His serious tone of voice made her look back at the mountains. Selene halfway expected to see riders in blue bearing down on them, but there was nothing but the mountains behind her. Selene looked over them anyway, curling in on herself. “I’ve never heard of them.”

“I’m not surprised.” Georg laughed, the sound easing some of her worry. “I don’t think any man would want his daughter finding out about them. I think most of them would flee just for the chance to have something more adventurous to do. Entire villages would desert to Hyland and feed their army. We can’t have that, nor can we have them turning our girls into bloodthirsty monsters.”

“Monsters. Really?” Selene smiled at him, too used to the way that he talked about Hyland to really be intimidated. It was just the rhetoric that he had gotten used to using in Pendrago. It was all show and reflection of his time in the army. Of course he would exaggerate, everyone in the army did.

She went to laugh it off, the sound dying in her throat as Georg gave her a sharp look. “Really. They train from a young age to become warriors and they form the backbone of Hyland’s army. We have never managed to break them. And, if we don’t we’ll never win.”

Selene swallowed, rubbing her arms. Emperor Dorann may have called a truce, but that didn’t mean that many people wanted it. That was one thing that she had learned from traveling with Georg and his men. No one felt safe while Hyland was still independent and had an army big enough to threaten them. The border towns had talked endlessly of raids made on them, and all of the towns on the inside worried about what would happen if the border towns weren’t enough. It was an uneasy kind of peace, one that Selene didn’t think would hold no matter what Emperor Dorann said.

She jumped when she felt arms wrap around her. Selene tensed for a moment before sighing and leaning back into Georg. It was comfortable to lean against him, especially when he was so warm and his scent was so comforting.

He must have thought the same because he buried his face in her hair. Georg remained like that for a while before pulling back slightly. When he spoke, his voice was low and quiet, something just for the two of them. “I scared you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just worry.”

Selene nodded, sinking back into him. “That’s your job.”

To her surprise, he shook his head. She turned slightly to look at him out of the corner of her eye. Georg didn’t look at her, he was focused on something off in the distance. Selene reached up to pat his arm, holding it tight. That shook him out of his daze, Georg finally relaxing a bit. He squeezed her tight for a moment before letting go. “I have a bit more to worry about now.”

Selene blushed as Georg reached down to run a hand over her stomach. She lowered her gaze to watch his motion as his hand moved over the gentle curve of his stomach. She smiled at his rapt attention, dropping her hand to rest over his. “Have you ever had children before?”

“None of my own.” There was wonder in his voice. “I hope it’s a boy.”

“Why?”

Georg shrugged, looking sheepish. “I wouldn’t know what to do with a girl, other than forbid her from going to court.”

“It’s not all bad. The quality of the education for one.”

“As long as it isn’t just about how to attract a husband.”

“It isn’t with my aunt. She cares.”

Georg hummed, Selene catching a hint of dislike in his tone. It was understandable considering that the two of them were in different factions. She knew her aunt and she knew Georg, both were stubborn and wouldn’t back down until they had to. Talking the two of them down from anything wouldn’t work, which was a shame. She might have run away from the stagnation of the court, but she didn’t want to leave her aunt forever. That would mean throwing away the part of her family she was the closest to, as well as all the girls she had met. They were her best friend and certainly not people to just drop away, even if they were more occupied by their partners.

She took a deep breath, working herself up to a smile by the time that Georg looked up at her. She missed her family and friends, but it wouldn’t be forever. Georg had to continue his work along the border, checking the forts to make his report to the emperor, but she wouldn’t be able to keep up until the end. She would have to go to deliver her baby, and she would have to leave him for that.

Selene knew that she wouldn’t be able to go back to Pendrago, not without a good explanation for her absence and the child that she was carrying, but there were plenty of her friends who were close enough to house her, and Selene was sure that they wouldn’t say no. Tessa and her husband were the closest.

Georg pressed a kiss to her cheek, Selene laughing and reaching out to keep him close. She heard him laugh in response, Georg letting the kiss linger for a moment longer. Then he was pulling away, Selene turning to follow him.

He caught up the reins of his horse, leading it over to her. A sharp jerk got the horse to stand still, Georg almost carelessly throwing the reins over its head. Then he turned and put his hands on her waist. Georg hesitated then, giving her a semi-serious look. “May I?”

“You’re asking now, after everything?”

“I have to at least try to be a gentleman.”

Selene laughed, holding out her arms slightly. It took her a moment to gather herself together, finally managing a nod. “You may.”

Georg grinned and gently lifted her onto the back of the horse. Selene reached out to brace herself against the front of the saddle. She didn’t have to wait long before Georg swung himself up behind her. He wrapped an arm around her, his other hand gathering up the reins. Selene sighed and leaned back into him, unable to keep her gaze from the rolling hills as Georg guided the horse back to the camp.

* * *

“Well, everything looks good.” Muse stepped away from her, turning to pick through a basket on the table.

Selene watched her for a moment before sitting up. She tugged her shirt back into place, sighing when it didn’t quite work. Her stomach was no longer a gentle round but more of a bulge. Selene tugged her shirt down again before giving up and leaning back on her hands. She stared at her stomach, shaking her head.

She could almost understand why Georg wasn’t paying much attention to her. She looked nothing like the woman he had met in Pendrago, and she certainly felt nothing like her. Then again, he was busy with surveying the town for the possible presence of a border fort; and she had found herself pushing him away more often. That probably more than anything was what accounted for his loss of interest. But it was hard to be interested when she felt so strange and tired. Selene huffed and rested a hand on her stomach, rubbing it gently with a fond smile.

“Are you still feeling very sore?”

Selene looked up at Muse, shaking her head. “Just the normal amount I guess. It’s getting hard to walk over anything that’s not a flat surface.”

Muse paused in her rooting around, looking her up and down. She narrowed her eyes for a moment before nodding. “You might want to think about heading to wherever you want to give birth. You’re getting to the point where it will be hard to travel, especially the way an army travels.”

Selene bit her lip, patting her stomach. She had thought of that before, but that had been when her stomach was small and easily hidden. She had seen plenty of pregnant people before, but she had never translated what it would look like on her. It wasn’t something that she would be able to hide easily. Tessa wouldn’t turn her away, Selene knew that, but she doubted that the secret would be kept. Traveling with the army at least kept her away from anyone who had known her, which meant that there wouldn’t be a scandal.  Selene didn’t really care about the scandal, she cared more about what her aunt would say. What Nadia would tell her was enough to make her reconsider everything.

She drummed her fingers against her stomach, looking back up at Muse. “I don’t think I could make it to Chester.”

“Chester.” Muse whistled, leaning back on her table. “That’s a bit too far away.”

“Too far to travel and too far from my midwife.”

That got Muse to laugh, Selene smiling at the sound. It had been a long time since she’d had another woman to talk to, although the men in the army hadn’t been too bad. But they only knew the army and the war and had their gazes fixed firmly on the day that they retired. That was different from the conversations that she wanted to have. She sometimes wanted something with a little more scope, or a little less talk about the diseases that they’d survived on the march. Muse was nice because it was like a return to what she had known, and what she had missed. Georg was wonderful, but he didn’t make up for the people that she was used to. Even surrounded by soldiers and whatever they were willing to teach her, it wasn’t the same.

Selene leaned back on her hands, watching as Muse bustled around the room. It was a joy to watch Muse work, she had the same confidence that Nadia had moving around the palace. It came with familiarity, something that Selene envied. Going with Georg had felt like the right thing to do, she was still sure that it was the right thing to do. There was no other way she would have gotten to see the world, but it hadn’t gotten her anything in the end, just the knowledge that the world was large and complex.

A disgruntled whimper pulled her attention away from Muse to a crib placed to one side. The sound got Muse’s attention too.

She paused in what she was doing, sighing as the baby in the crib gave a short shout. “Mikleo, can I get anything done around here without you commenting?”

The baby squealed, Muse shaking her head. She set the vials down before going over to the crib to lift up the baby. Selene bit her lip to keep from laughing as Mikleo’s upset sounds immediately turned to happy ones. Mikleo seemed content once he was pressed to Muse’s shoulder, Muse swaying slightly.

She gave Selene and apologetic look, mouthing the word ‘Sorry’ before starting to walk Mikleo around the room. “He’s struggling with the idea of sleep, naps or otherwise.”

Selene chuckled and slid off of the bed. She had to reach out and brace herself against the wall as her weight was thrown forward. Selene huffed, standing still as she waited for things to equalize. It was only when she was sure that she wouldn’t fall over that she pulled her hand away from the wall.

She raked it through her hair, turning to look at where Muse was moving around the room. “Will it be that bad?”

“Babies are laws to themselves. What works for one might not work for another. Mikleo has to be in the center of everything.” She rolled her eyes, but the fond smile didn’t leave her face. “It’s a good thing Uncle Michael doesn’t sleep like a normal person either, or else I would be more annoyed at you.”

Mikleo responded with a squeal before he began to gum messily at the collar of Muse’s shirt. Muse gave her son an annoyed look before nodding over at the vials that she had set on the table. “There you go. One will help with any pain if you brew it like a tea and its gentle enough not to hurt either of you. Just use once piece when you have pain and keep seeping that piece, it’ll get weaker, but you don’t want to be ignoring everything. Signs are important at this stage.”

“And what is this stage?”

“About seven months in.” Muse switched Mikleo to her other side. “I don’t expect anything to happen, but you’ve been on the move since the start, and that tends to give babies ideas.”

Selene nodded, trying to ignore the familiar fear. There was so much that she didn’t know. She might have been lectured for her reckless behavior if she had stayed home, but there was no question in her mind that she would have been supported. There would have been stories and advice from all corners. Soldiers had no interest in that, at least not beyond mooning and telling stories of their own children. They were lacking in real advice and Georg seemed out of his depth. Selene was relieved that they had stopped in Camlann, it meant other women, other types of people. And it felt like home.

She had felt versions of the yearning before, but it had been easy to ignore. Back then, she had been perfectly happy to just have Georg, but she knew a bit better now. It was the first rush of a relationship, back when she had been happy to have him be her whole world. That had been easier when they had all the time in the world to be wrapped up in each other. Now Georg was busy with the task that he and been assigned, scouting out a place for a border fort, which left her at loose ends.

It had been better when they were doing lazy tours. Georg would only be distracted for a few hours before he came back to her, and then they would be back in their little world. Marking out a place for another fort took more time. Georg was gone practically all day, riding through the area around Camlann to try and determine the perfect place. Worst of all, he wouldn’t talk to her at the end of the day. Apparently what he was doing was too important to share so widely. It was an order from Emperor Dorann, meant to be kept secret until he determined a place to put the next border fort and then it was agreed to by a treaty. Selene was sure that there was more to it than that, but Georg hadn’t bothered to fill her in. The fact that he had told her he wouldn’t discuss it with her made her bristle more than anything.

They had shared everything with each other before. _She_ had shared everything with him before. It was enough to get her to wonder if their relationship was falling apart.

Selene bit her lip, considering the question for a moment before shaking her head. She blushed when Muse made an inquisitive sound. She looked over at Muse, watching the way that she was holding Mikleo close before giving into the longing. “I’d like to stay, if I can.”

Muse’s eyes widened, the woman looking her up and down. Muse’s shock didn’t last long before she rushed over. She shifted her hold on Mikleo, reaching out to rest a hand on Selene’s shoulder. It didn’t take too much pressure to encourage her to sit down, it felt so much better than standing.

Selene sank back down onto the bed, leaning on Muse as she sat down next to her. Selene shifted in place for a moment before twisting so she could look at Muse. She reached out, taking Muse’s hand in hers.

Muse squeezed her hand before reaching up to steady her wriggling child. “What’s wrong?”

“I…I don’t know. I just feel so lonely all of a sudden.”

Muse’s eyes widened and she scooted closer to her. “You have no one?”

“Just Georg. And I guess the rest of the men, but…”

“They don’t feel like they count?”

Selene shook her head. “I wanted to get out and see the world and be with Georg. I don’t regret it but…”

“You’re all alone, and that’s not fun.”

“No. But it didn’t used to be this way.”

“Of course not, but it happened, and you’re dealing with it well. I would have broken down in tears long before now.” Muse gave her a gentle smile. “You’re far braver than I am.”

“I’m not.”

“Selene, I didn’t leave home until I married. I stayed in the same place for almost all of my life.”

Selene frowned, speaking before she had the chance to think about what she was saying. “Then how did you get here?”

Muse gave her a wry smile, raising one shoulder in a shrug. “How does anyone get anywhere now? The war. Bryan and I moved too close to the border. Within months everything was just…gone.”

Selene’s stomach twisted. She was sure it wasn’t the baby moving, it was something more like horror. She had heard plenty of talk about the war while she had been in Pendrago, but it had been easy to dismiss it as something that was happening far away from her. It had even seemed distant while they had been traveling along the border. Everyone there had been more than ready to blame Hyland for all of their troubles, but she had never bothered to think about it from the other side. She had cheered just as loudly as everyone when Georg talked about trading raid for raid. A shiver ran down her spine at the memory of Georg promising to burn a village for every Rolance village hurt.

She looked back at Muse, trying to fumble for the right words to say, but there were none. She couldn’t think of a way to apologize for everything that Rolance had done to Hyland, there was just too much. She could only stare with her mouth dropped open.

Thankfully, Muse seemed to understand. She gave Selene a sad smile, leaning sideways to press their shoulders together. “You can stay here, if you want.”

Selene swallowed, fighting back to the urge to immediately agree. Camlann was nice, perched on the edge of both worlds and no one would know who she was. There would be no shame for what happened, but it would mean a different kind of loneliness. Camlann was a long away around from her friends and family, and a long way away from Georg.

She shifted in place, jumping when Muse rested a hand over hers. “It doesn’t have to be forever, but just until you’re ready to travel again. You don’t have to keep yourself in exile.”

“Oh, it’s not exile. I wanted to go with him.”

“But it’s gone on for longer than you thought?”

Selene nodded, rubbing her free hand absently over her stomach. Even still she wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to go back just yet. Back to Pendrago meant a lot of things, and she wasn’t quite done seeing the world, with Georg or not.

Muse patted her hand before nodding. “I’ll have a place ready for you when you need it.”

“I couldn’t-”

Muse gave her a stern look. “You are in my care and I’d prefer to have you close. Plus, my brother can help run errands for me and take care of Mikleo.” Muse grinned at her. “It would be nice to have another girl around the house. Well…to be honest, another person. Mikleo isn’t much of a conversationalist and Michael is…”

Muse seemed to struggle with a description for a while before she just settled on making a face. Selene couldn’t help but laugh.

She had met everyone in Camlann, it was a small village. Most of them she had talked to, but Michael was the only one that she had never had a conversation with. He had always seemed to be rushing past or talking to himself. With all the time he spent at the shrine to Maotelus on the other end of the village, Selene had thought he was the priest, until she had met Valerie. What Michael actually did was a mystery to her, and he was never around long enough for her to find out.

She swallowed, contemplating falling asleep and waking up alone in Georg’s tent for the next couple of months before shaking her head. “If you have the spare room?”

“Of course.”

“Then I will.”

“Good.” Muse shifted Mikleo, the baby flailing his arms with an annoyed expression on his face. “I’ll set things up and help you move. You just find a way to tell that general of yours.”

“I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Why wouldn’t he? He cares about you.” Muse stood up, walking partially across the room before pausing. “Unless he wants to be there. Some want to do that.”

“I don’t think he would mind. This is an important assignment.”

Muse took the explanation without a question, Selene relieved by it.

She wanted to believe that Georg was just occupied with his job and not avoiding her. He had seemed so happy at the start, especially with the way that he had touched her stomach and the way that he had talked about children. Maybe he had changed his mind, or maybe this was how he dealt with worry. Either way she would have to talk to him and get to the bottom of it. Selene squared her shoulders and pushed herself up off of the bed.

It took a moment for her to stabilize herself, Selene using that time to watch as Muse practically danced around the room. The motion looked ridiculous, but it was working. Mikleo was already starting to fall asleep against Muse’s shoulder. Muse glanced over at her before nodding to the vials on the table. She moved away again, humming under her breath as she rocked her son to sleep.

Selene slipped past her, grabbing the vials before walking out into the village and the sunshine.

* * *

Selene gripped the center pole of the tent tightly, trying to remember what Muse had said about breathing. There were different patterns, and they were all slipping out of her head. Selene groaned and leaned forward to press her forehead against the pole. She was in too much pain to remember anything. Muse had told her that something like this would happen, but Selene couldn’t help thinking that this was wrong. It wasn’t supposed to have gone on for so long, or be so sharp.

She bit her lip, giving up on trying to breathe steady. She couldn’t just stay where she was, something was obviously wrong. Selene didn’t know how she would make it from the camp to Camlann.

The camp was right on the edge on what they were sure was Rolance territory, and it was a long walk up to the village. But she couldn’t see any other choice, no one had passed by the tent for hours. Selene didn’t know why the camp had gone silent, because it never was, but it was the worst timing. She had thought that she could wait until someone came by, but she couldn’t risk it any longer. There was too much that could go wrong.

It took her a moment to uncurl her fingers from the tent pole, Selene biting down on her lip until she tasted blood. It was barely a distraction from the pain that was pulsing through her.

Selene stumbled forward a few steps, trying to time her movement with when the pain abated, but it never seemed to stop. She paused just long enough to take a few, shaky breaths before pushing herself forward again.

She could work through the pain. It was just like when she had broken her arm from falling off her pony when she was seven. Or when she had twisted her ankle in her dancing lessons when she was four. Both times she had limped her way to someone who could help, and she could do it again. Muse might be farther away than her dance instructor half a room away or the stables just down the lane. It would be another tale to tell to the other women when she got back around to Pendrago, and they would laugh just like they had before.

Selene took a quick breath as soon as she was outside the tent, reaching back to press her hand against her back. It didn’t help anything, but it was steadying. She wanted desperately to touch her stomach, but she didn’t dare. Something might go wrong, and she didn’t want to chance anything. She had waited so long to have this baby. She had planned. She had been ready. She didn’t want to lose it all because she panicked.

She turned to look up the familiar path to Camlann. She had been walking up it practically every day to spend her time with Muse and the people of Camlann. It had been comforting and something to keep her occupied. There might not have been much she could do while she was heavily pregnant, but there were plenty of things that could keep her hands busy.

She had helped everyone mixing their beer or with other food preparation many times. She had managed to catch the elusive Michael once too and spend a day carefully sewing together the pages of the book that he was working on. She would take any of them coming her way now, even Michael with his bursts of frantic talking and then sudden awkward silence. Just anyone who could help her.

Selene shook her head, trying to focus on the important things. It was hard when they kept slipping out of her mind, quickly getting replaced by panic and pain. She wanted desperately to just scream until someone found her, but she wouldn’t let herself do that. It wouldn’t help at all. Camlann was too far away, and the camp was strangely silent. The only thing that lingered on the breeze was the faint scent of smoke.

She felt her stomach roll at the smell, Selene reached up to press a hand against her mouth. She fought against the rolling in her stomach, but it didn’t last long. Selene rocking forward, vomiting on the ground as she gave up the fight. Throwing up didn’t solve anything, it just made her feel worse.

Selene groaned and stumbled away from the vomit on the ground, feeling her stomach turn again, although she wasn’t sure it was only because of nausea. There was a wet squelch between her legs as she moved and she couldn’t remembered when that had happened either.

Selene took a ragged breath, swiping her sleeve across her eyes. Her vision was swimming because of the pain, not because of her tears. She just had to keep telling herself that until she got to help. Only then could she allow herself to break down. Selene focused on breathing, trying to gather the energy to start moving again.

“Lady Vass?”

Selene jerked her head up, staring at Noah as the man rushed over to her. She reached out for him, eager to have something to hold onto to keep herself upright. Noah seemed more than happy to oblige.

He tucked her up against him, Selene leaning on him. She closed her eyes for a moment, willing to take the chance to depend on someone else. But Noah wasn’t moving. Selene opened her eyes, watching as he looked around in a panic.

She reached up to grab at his jacket, tugging at it to get Noah’s attention. “Take me to Camlann, please.”

“Lady Vass, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Noah-”

“I don’t think you will make it that far, my lady.”

“Then bring Muse here.”

“But…” Noah looked around frantically before shaking his head. Selene groaned, about to push away from him when Noah got a better hold on her. “No, wait. I just meant that I didn’t want to leave you alone. I’ll take you back to the general’s tent, and then I’ll go and get the midwife. I’ll send someone to watch you until I get back.”

Selene gave the path to Camlann one last look, the distance looking like miles. Her legs shook at the thought of walking that far. Noah’s suggestion had merit and, better yet, she wouldn’t be alone. That more than anything she didn’t want. She was too frightened to be alone.

She clenched the fabric of his jacket in her hand, before letting go. “Yes. Just, hurry.”

Noah smiled at her, wrapping one arm gently around her waist. “I will. Let’s just get you settled.”

Selene clung to him as they shuffled back to the tent, trying to ignore the part of her that said that she was going backwards. It was the only plan that made sense anymore.

She stumbled towards the bed, stopping herself from lying down. Selene reached out to grab onto the tent pole, shaking her head when Noah went to pull her away. “I can’t. I won’t get up again. Hurts too much to.”

“Alright.” Noah patted her arm awkwardly before backing away. He paused long enough to bow to her before sprinting out of the tent.

Selene listened to Noah running away, catching the sound of him shouting a name, but she couldn’t hear it over the sound of her own panting. Selene ducked her head, pressing it against the tent pole. Until Noah sent someone back to her, she had nothing to do but try to keep calm, but that idea was quickly fraying away from her. Everything was getting worse, or that’s what it felt like.

She swallowed, reaching down to rest a hand on her stomach. It didn’t help anything, but it steadied her. Selene closed her eyes, listening hard for the sound of anyone running towards her.


	2. Chapter 2

“Gone is my husband, my sweet husband.  
Gone is my husband, my sweet love…  
The jackal lies down in his bed.  
The raven dwells in the sheepfold.  
You ask me about his reed pipe?  
The wind must play it for him.  
You ask me about his sweet songs?  
The wind must sing them for him.”  
\- _Inanna: Queen of Heaven and Earth_ , Daine Wolkstein and Samuel Noah Karmer

* * *

 

“Lady Vass?”

Selene groaned at the shake to her shoulder. She reached up to slap the hand away, grumbling when it didn’t move from her shoulder. “Go away, Tessa.”

She thought that was the end of it but the hand returned, insistent. Selene frowned, her thoughts hazy with sleep and something else. Selene reached out again, batting at the hand on her shoulder. “If my aunt wants me, then make something up. You won’t get in trouble. She likes you.”

“Lady Vass, please.”

It was the title that got her attention, Selene opening her eyes. Tessa never called her by her last name or with any official title. There were no titles between Nadia’s ladies-in-waiting. They were all like family, no matter what their own families were trying to do with them. There were only so many of left because of the Long War, and their fathers were desperate. Serving with Nadia was their last snatch at normality before they were shuffled off to join the ranks of married women.

Selene stared at the wall in front of her, slowly realizing that it wasn’t a wall at all but the familiar covering of painted canvas. Which meant that she wasn’t back in her room in the palace, nor in Muse’s house in Camlann. She was in Georg’s tent, just where Noah had left her and Alexs had found her. Just where she had been when Alexs had helped her give birth despite her protests that it was too early. She distinctly remembered the pain and the screaming, from the both of them. Alexs didn’t have the same calm manner that Muse did, he was used to working through large groups of people as fast as possible. But he had been steady, which had helped.

She dragged her gaze to the exhausted man sitting on the camp stool beside her. Some part of her expected to see Georg sitting by her, because this was important. But he wasn’t there, and he had been absent for a long while.

Georg might not have been there, but Noah was. The man looked a bit shocked and exhausted. Selene was sure that she looked the same way.

She swallowed, curling her fingers into the blankets. The small motion must have been what Noah was looking for, because he gave her a smile and scooted the chair close. “Are you doing alright, my lady?”

Selene wanted to shake her head, because nothing about this was right. It was too early for the baby, it wasn’t where she had planned it and Georg wasn’t there. But she didn’t dare to shake her head, because that would worry Noah and he had already done so much for her. He had found Alexs and run all the way to Camlann to tell Muse. The only question was why Muse hadn’t come, because she had promised that she would be there and Muse wasn’t the kind of woman that would go back on her promises.

The most important question in her mind was her baby. She hadn’t heard any crying, but she could have missed it when she had finally slept because of exhaustion. Selene doubted that she had slept too long, because she was sure that Georg would have come then. But she had slept long enough for other things to be done.

She might not hear the baby because it was no longer there anymore.

Selene sat up quickly, ignoring the throb of pain through her body and the way that Noah reached out for her. She scanned the tent, her gaze quickly finding where Alexs was standing in a corner of it. Selene leaned forward, feeling Noah support her shoulders. She was glad for the support, because every part of her felt shaky. Selene reached forward to grab the edge of the bed, clinging to it as she stared at Alexs. “W-what happened?”

Alexs was slow to turn around, Selene feeling her heart start to pound faster. “Alexs…”

He nodded slowly, Selene’s gaze dropping down to the bundle that he was holding in his arms. “I’m sorry, Lady Vass, I was…miles away. It’s been quite the night.”

“But-”

“I was just checking him over, and trying to figure out what to do.” Alexs walked over, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Selene was quick to scoot closer, although she didn’t take the bundle from him when the surgeon held it out. She could only stare as it moved weakly, her mind turning over what Alexs had said.

“He?”

“Yes,” the surgeon nodded. “You have a son.”

Selene shook her head. “I can’t. It’s too soon.”

“I know.” Alexs nodded, his attention dropping back down to the baby in his arms. “My knowledge of childbirth is patchy at best. Your midwife would know better.”

Selene heard Noah clear his throat, turning her head in time to see him shake his head slightly. She didn’t know why he would do that, other than it could be his response to what Alexs had said. She didn’t think that Noah would have come back without Muse unless there was no other choice.

She licked her lips, looking back at Alexs. “Maybe she was called away for another birth?”

“Maybe.” Alexs didn’t sound so sure, which made Selene tense up. He didn’t seem to notice, his full attention on the baby in his arms. Alexs continued to contemplate the baby for a moment longer before shaking his head. “Noah, go and find the general. Someone needs to tell him the good news.”

Noah squeezed her shoulder before letting go of her. Selene turned to smile at him, watching as Noah stepped away. He kept his arms stretched out like he expected her to fall over, which made her smile. She nodded at him. “Thank you, for everything.”

She expected him to smile or to blush, not to go pale. Noah fumbled over his words for a moment before he managed a nod. “Don’t hesitate to come to us if you need extra hands, my lady.”

He scurried out of the tent before she could say anything else. Selene turned to watch him go, feeling her arms tremble. It was hard to keep herself up without something there to help, but she was going to do it. She still hadn’t gotten a good look at her baby. She reached out to steady herself on Alexs, looking down at the baby in her arms.

He was small, so small that it worried her. Selene bit her lip, reaching out to touch the top of his head. The baby wiggled a bit before settling down with a weak sounding sigh. She looked up at Alexs, watching as he sighed.

The surgeon took a moment to compose himself before he sighed. “I may not know much about childbirth, but I do know that he’s going to have trouble with many things. He was born too early, so there’s no telling what he’ll need help with. Just keep an eye on him and make sure to keep him warm.”

Selene nodded, holding out her arms. Alexs hesitated a moment longer before settling the baby in them. Selene gathered him close, trying to imitate what she had seen some mothers do. She was sure that she was clutching him too tightly, but the baby wasn’t complaining. Selene looked him over, shaking her head. “He’s not crying.”

“I don’t think he will for a while. All of his energy is going into living.”

Selene shivered at the thought. She had been excited about this. She was too practical to go planning out a whole future, but she couldn’t help the excitement. Georg had seemed to be excited about it, his first child and a boy too. Selene was sure that it was every man’s dream. Or that’s what she had heard from the other ladies-in-waiting. But all of that had centered on the idea of the baby coming two more months out. Having a baby and traveling would be hard, but having one with extra problems would make things difficult. Maybe difficult enough for her to not travel at all.

Selene rocked her baby in her arms, shaking her head. “Muse offered to let me stay in Camlann, I think that might be the best thing.”

Alexs started, Selene confused by the frantic look on his face. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

She frowned. “Why not? She’s a midwife, she would know what to do. You said that this wasn’t what you specialized in.”

“I know, but I think-”

Alexs was interrupted when Georg pushed through the tent flap. Selene leaned out to see him, smiling when she saw the eager look on his face, but her smile died the longer that she looked at him.

Georg was in his armor and splattered with blood. She couldn’t tell if any of it was his, which was worrying. She didn’t want him to be running from the battlefield to her only to die on the floor.

Selene reached out to touch Alexs’ shoulder. “The general.”

Alexs went to stand up, but Georg was quick to wave him down. “It’s not mine.”

“Then who?”

Georg paused a little too long before answering. “Just some raiders. Nothing too bad.” He paused to brush off his armor, Georg staring at his hand for a moment before twisting to wipe it on his cape. He looked back at her, his smile returning. “But that kept me from you. I’m sorry.”

Selene shook her head, not sure if she was forgiving him or if she was trying to process what he was telling her. She was sure that Georg wouldn’t be back in the camp if the raiders were still a problem. But that didn’t mean that it wouldn’t be a problem later when Georg and his troops were gone. For all she know, Camlann could be the next attacked and they were defenseless. It was a village of farmers and craftsman, not soldiers.

She adjusted her hold on her baby, edging towards the edge of the bed. “We have to do something about it.”

“What?”

Selene ignored Georg’s question, trying to get to her feet. She wobbled as she stood, Alexs reaching out to steady her. Selene allowed the touch for a moment before she started to stumble away. Alexs and Georg reached for her, but Selene slipped by them, her focus on moving. Everything still hurt, but this was slightly more important. She wouldn’t be walking long anyway, just long enough to get to someone who would run to Camlann and warn them, then she could settle down. Once Camlann was alerted and Muse was found she could focus on her baby.

“Selene.”

She rolled her shoulder when Georg touched it, stepping out into the camp. She would let him see his son later, just as soon as she was sure that they were all safe. By then she would have something to say, some explanation for what she was going to do and why they had to stay apart. She licked her lips, trying to come up with something coherent amongst the fear and panic.

She stepped out of the tent, coming to a stop as she saw the men stumbling back in. All of them were smiling and laughing, Selene used to seeing the men like that. She wasn’t used to them being like that when they were covered in blood. Selene watched them start to gather around one of the lieutenants

The man held an ornate sword up, the sunlight flashing on the runes in the blade. Selene sucked in a breath and cradled her baby close at the sight of it.

Seraphic weapons were a common sight, but it was well known they could be troublesome. The seraphim inside could sometimes fall to the malevolence of the war or they could grow tired of their promises and try to break out of the sword. That or the soldier using it might not be able to handle the power that came with the sword. With the way that the lieutenant was waving the sword around, Selene was sure that one of the seraph’s artes would go off.

The sword distracted her for a moment, but her fear of it wasn’t enough to keep her from hearing what the men were shouting.

“We got him!”

“We’ve rescued him!”

“Did you see the general? A hero!”

“No one else could have stolen Maotelus.”

“No one else could have bound Maotelus.”

Selene stared at them, trying to comprehend. Maotelus was a Great Lord, one that had lived in Camlann. She had seen the shrine that had been made to him, but she had never attempted the climb. The stairs would have been too much for her. But she knew that everyone in Camlann depended on him. His domain kept out the malevolence in the rest of the world. He was the one who kept their tiny neutral scrap of ground out of the war between Hyland and Rolance, because nothing either side had was strong enough to go against him. She’d even heard it said that Maotelus was too powerful to be bound.

Except that the men were parading around with a sword and shouting Georg’s praises to the sky that he had done the impossible.

But Georg had said that they had been fighting raiders.

“Down with Hyland.”

“That will serve them right for raiding our villages.”

“It felt good to kill those damn Hylanders.”

“Were they though?”

“Does it matter? Only cowards don’t pick a side.”

Selene strained to see the soldier who had spoken, shocked when she saw him. He was twisted, his fingers curled into claws and his teeth strangely sharp. She shuddered at the sight of him, cradling her baby close to her. The soldier looked like something out of the stories that she had been told as a child.

She took a step back, turning her head to look away from the soldier. Selene’s eyes widened when she saw the smoke rising from the direction of Camlann. She froze in place, feeling her breath catch in her throat. Georg had said that he had fought off raiders, but there was every chance that they had gone for Camlann.

There was every chance that it wasn’t, because the men were talking about sides and Camlann was firmly on neither. The village was placed on neutral territory and the villagers seemed keen to keep it that way.

Selene took a few steps towards Camlann, shaking her head. It had been a thriving village the day before, she had just been up there lending a hand where she could. People had been laughing and smiling. They had been alive.

She didn’t realize that she had been moving steadily towards Camlann until someone touched her shoulder. Selene turned her head, looking back at Georg. He gave her a serious look, his expression softened a little by the way that he thumb rubbed against her shoulder. “Selene, where are you going?”

“Camlann. It’s burning.”

She waited for some look of shock or for him to look towards the village in surprise. But Georg didn’t look away from her and his expression stayed the same. Selene felt a growing horror start to take over her.

She shook her head, trying to step away but Georg kept a heavy hold on her shoulder. “Selene.”

“It’s _burning_ , Georg.”

“I know.”

“You said there were raiders.”

“It’s not something for you to worry about.”

“It is!” Selene jerked herself away, turning to face him. “They welcomed us. They helped us. I have friends up there.”

“Selene, you’re being irrational.” Georg stepped towards her, Selene unable to tear her gaze away from the blood on his armor. “Come back inside the tent. You need to rest.”

“No! You knew! You knew what you were doing the entire time!” A wail from the baby caught her attention. Selene gasped and looked down, watching as the baby kicked out weakly. She muttered an apology, cradling him close as she rocked. It didn’t seem to help, but she didn’t know what else to do. She hadn’t been ready and now there was Camlann to worry about. The whole thing made her head spin. “Sh, sweetheart. I know I know.”

The reassurances didn’t seem to help, the baby wailing louder. The sound was just mixed in with the rest of the celebrating soldiers, although the closest group had quieted down to stare. Selene rolled her shoulders forward, trying to protect her baby from their stares. She took a deep breath, immediately choking on the scent of blood and metal. She didn’t dare to press a hand to her mouth, not when she had the baby in her arms.

She looked desperately around, wanting to find an escape. She didn’t get long to look, Selene jumping as Georg touched her shoulder. She froze as he came around to wrap an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, Selene. Let’s get you back to bed. Alexs said you had a hard time, and you need your rest.”

Selene looked up at the tent, starting at the surgeon who was hovering by the front. Alexs was watching her carefully, Selene watching as he turned to wave at someone in the crowd. She tipped her head, watching as Noah pushed his way out of the crowd. The man glanced her way, but he couldn’t meet her gaze, and she suddenly understood the horrible reason.

She had sent him to get Muse, and he had certainly been gone long enough to run all the way to Camlann and back. He had come back smelling of smoke, but she hadn’t thought about it too much at the moment. And the excuses hadn’t made sense, at least until she had suggested that Muse was busy with another birth. Noah had known the entire time what was happening, which meant Georg had known and he hadn’t bothered to call off the attack.

Georg’s arm sat heavily on her shoulder, Selene feeling her skin crawl at his touch. He was carrying on like nothing was wrong, all while covered in their blood.

She pulled away from him with a scream. Selene backed away from him as fast as she could, staying away from Georg as he reached for her. “You knew! You knew the whole damn time that it was happening and you didn’t bother to stop.”

“Selene-”

“What was so important that you had to attack Camlann? _Why_ did you have to attack?”

Georg opened and shut his mouth, Selene fully ready for him to pull out the old excuse that it wasn’t something for her to know. What they were doing was important to the treaty, a personal request from Emperor Dorann to help secure the peace with Hyland. And an order from the emperor had to be followed, even if Georg hated it.

Or did he?

Selene went still her heart beating fast. They had been camped close by Camlann for so long on Georg’s orders. It certainly hadn’t been for her, because Georg had stopped paying attention to her as soon as they got to the village. Georg had been all over the mountains, probably back and forth into Hyland too. He would know everything that was going on in the area, and no one would bother to argue with him once they were back in Pendrago because he was the expert on the area. He could say anything and they were believe them. He could say anything because most of the generals didn’t want the peace that Dorann was asking for. They wanted any excuse for a war, and Georg was giving them one.

A village on the border between two countries had declared itself neutral, and that was more dangerous than declaring a side. Georg had burned it all down so there was nothing left to disprove his version of events; that was if anyone wanted to. After all, he had saved them all from a dangerous gap in Rolance’s defenses. He had brought Maotelus back to Pendrago, where everyone was sure the Great Lord belonged. He had brought Maotelus into the war, where the Great Lord belonged. Everything was falling into place perfectly, the only outlier was her and the baby. But…

_“It would be good political sense to have one of their party married to the empress’ niece. That kind of move will gain them political leverage that they don’t have.”_

Selene adjusted her hold on the baby, looking around the camp. Georg had loved her, she had been sure of it, but maybe her aunt had been just as right. Maybe Georg hadn’t been as interested in Selene Vass as she had thought. Or maybe, he was just waiting for her to become attached or be useful.

She jerked back from Georg another step, anger bubbling up inside her as he took another step towards her. “No. I understand now.”

He frowned, Selene feeling her anger run hotter at the expression. Did he think that she was so stupid that she wouldn’t realize what he was doing? Did he think that all of the girls at court were that stupid? They were all aware of what was going on around them and the possible ramifications, some just decided to ignore them to keep their peace of mind, or they didn’t think that it would affect them. Except for her, she had been stupid enough to believe everything, because she had thought that she was above all of that. She had thought that she was special and had used every excuse to keep it that way. And she was furious at herself, more than that, she was furious at him.

Selene took a deep breath, looking Georg up and down before turning on her heel. She didn’t want to be close to him or the army. She wanted to be as far away as possible. It wasn’t the romantic getaway that she thought it would be, it never had been. She had just run away from Pendrago with a man who had gotten bored with his wife. She had been just as bad as the girls in all the stories she had read. All it had taken was a few stories about the world and she was ready to run away. A glimpse of the world was not worth this.

She looked up at where the smoke was rising above the trees, shaking her head. “You didn’t even bury them.”

“They aren’t ours.”

Georg’s answer told her all she needed to know about the man, and it hurt. She had seen glimpses of it before, but it had been easy to ignore. He was a man out of his element, back in the court instead of the battlefield. Except it wasn’t discomfort, it was the parts of the battlefield that he had let sit on him until they had become a part of him. Georg might not have been a hellion, but he didn’t need to be a monster on the outside to be one on the inside.

She tipped her chin up, adjusting her hold on her baby. “They’re mine.”

“No.”

“I’m going to bury them.”

“I forbid it.”

Selene turned her head to look at him, smiling when she saw the fury on his face. He looked nothing like the put together general who had graced the halls of the palace. She looked him up and down before she shrugged. “I’m not your soldier and I’m not your wife. You can’t forbid me anything.”

Georg growled and stepped forward, Selene wrinkling her nose at the scent that came from him. It was the scent of an angry alpha, one that was a warning and a command at the same time. Selene could see some of the soldiers shrinking back, all of them probably well aware of the dangers that came from angering the general, but she wouldn’t back down. She wasn’t his to own, nor was she the meekest omega who would flinch back at any sign of an alpha’s anger.

She stood her ground as Georg stormed towards her, only lifting up her chin so she could meet his gaze. He loomed over her, but she didn’t move. Georg was still growling, probably waiting for her to bare her throat or scurry back, but she was too angry to do that. If he expected her just to roll over for him, then he didn’t know her at all.

He reached out for her, Selene shifting slightly so the baby was out of his reach. That angered him more. “That’s my son.”

“No. He’s mine.”

“You can’t-”

“If you wanted a say in this, you should have stopped massacring the village that my midwife lived in.”

“There are plenty of others.”

“And probably just as dispensable. Or are they only acceptable if they have absolute loyalty to the emperor? The one who declared that we are at peace with Hyland.”

Georg lunged for her, Selene stumbling back as he tried to close his fingers around her neck. She heard some of the soldiers gasp, but she ignored them in favor for snarling at him. It was enough to get him to stop, Georg staring back at her in shock. He had obviously gotten too used to having people just follow his orders or his threats. Selene looked him up and down before turning away from him. “I’m going to bury those people you murdered.”

He twitched, Selene counting it as a win. She gave him a sharp nod before turning to walk away. She didn’t get more than a few steps before she heard Noah call out for her.

“Lady Vass, wait! We’ll get you some supplies and-”

“NO!” Georg rounded on the man. “She gets nothing unless she comes here and hands over my son for it.”

Selene tensed at the order, looking over at the soldiers. Most of them were muttering amongst themselves, looking a bit unsure about the order. But they wouldn’t move against it, which was a shame. Part of her understood, but more of her raged at that. Still, there was nothing to be done but roll her shoulders back and keep walking like she hadn’t heard.

It took a lot of effort to walk steadily. Her whole body ached and every step was a trial, but she wouldn’t falter. She wouldn’t give Georg any other reason to try and drag her back. She wasn’t going to stand by him as tact approval from the royal family any longer, nor was she going to let him get his hands on her son. She wanted to get as far away from Georg Heldalf as possible.

Selene shifted her hold on her baby, tucking him against her shoulder. He was still whimpering, but even that was fading away. She glanced over, watching as he drifted to sleep. She only had what she had seen from the other mothers in court and from what little Muse had told her before. It would have to be enough to get the two of them through. It _would_ be enough.

She turned her head so she could rub her cheek against her baby’s, trying to drown out the smell of smoke and Georg’s individual smell of metal with his. He didn’t quite smell of anything concrete yet, but he smelled of the same vague milk smell that all babies did. Milk and something that reminded her of old books.

Selene smiled and kissed his cheek. She shifted her hold to keep him secure against her as she started the long walk into Camlann.

* * *

Camlann still burned, making doing anything close to the town impossible. Selene glanced over at the houses, feeling tears prick at her eyes at the sight. She’d spent long, wonderful days in the village. It had never been Pendrago, but the court had its own kind of madness. Camlann had felt more like after the empress’ ladies-in-waiting had retired to their rooms to talk amongst themselves as they worked on their crafts. It was that quiet companionship, that calm and sensation of coming home.

And it was gone forever.

She closed her eyes, Selene trying to rein herself in. She would mourn, there was no question of that, but she had to be on the move. There was a lot to be done, and predators would be coming. Hellions would be on their heels, and there wouldn’t be any soldiers to protect her or her baby. Selene swallowed, looking back at the flames. As long as they were burning, they would be fine, but she might as well use them to start her own fire. She bit her lip, swaying in place as she mentally started to run down everything she would need to do.

She would need to start working on burying the dead, but she would also have to gather supplies for herself. Some part of her shied away from scavenging through the houses that were in better shape, but the people of Camlann weren’t using them and she and the baby needed them.

Selene looked down at where she had laid the baby. He was still swaddled in the blanket that Alexs had wrapped him in, still asleep although she was sure that it wasn’t going to last for long. He would be hungry and she had no idea what to do for that. She hadn’t been ready. She didn’t even have milk to give him. It had only be hours and she still hadn’t managed to make a decent choice as a mother.

Selene winced, playing with the end of her skirt. She was going to have to do better, and she might as well make a start. She bent over, ripping off a section of her skirt.

The fabric came off as a long strip, Selene tearing off two more before measuring them out. She took the widest one, matching it against her body. It would do for a sling, but she didn’t trust it to be against her back. She wanted to be able to see her baby at all times. Selene turned the fabric over in her hands before throwing it over her shoulder. She looked between the two of them before choosing another one to use as a wrap for her face for when she had to work close to the fire. Although, when she did that, she couldn’t bring her baby in.

Selene bit her lip to muffle a sob. She sunk to the ground beside her baby, looking down at him. He was so small, so vulnerable and she didn’t want to take him any closer to danger. But she didn’t want to leave him all alone. There was nowhere safe that she could put him, not out of reach of both hellions and soldiers. The safest place was still with her, but she would be putting him in danger there.

She reached out to brush her finger over the back of his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m not doing a good job at this. I haven’t had much practice.”

She didn’t get a response, but she didn’t expect much of one. The baby seemed content enough to sleep.

Selene picked him up, cradling him in her arms. “This isn’t a good first day in the world. And I haven’t even named you.”

She ran her finger over his cheek, smiling down at him. She had thought over names while riding to Camlann with Georg. The two of them had even gone back and forth on some of them. She’d been fond of Arthur, but Georg had argued that the name was very popular now and their child would have been just one of many Arthurs. Selene wasn’t too happy with the name now either. In fact, she didn’t like the sound of any of the names that she had thought about. All of them sounded wrong now. All of them sounded too much like _him_.

Selene nodded to herself, rocking the baby slightly in her arms. “Right, we’ll have to come up with something different. Something just for us. Something nice and sweet like you.” She glanced up at the fire still licking at some of the building in the village. She sighed and settled into a more comfortable position. “I wasn’t thinking of anything like that. I was just thinking of something that would be…right for the son of a general. But you’re not. You’re my son. But I don’t know-”

She cut herself off as she saw a flicker of movement through the flames. Selene scrambled to her feet, looking around. She didn’t think that any of the soldiers would disobey their general’s orders, nor did he think that Georg would come for her, at least not until he calmed down. Then again, he wouldn’t want to lose face in front of his men. He would probably let her stay up in Camlann until she was done. He might just leave without her too. That thought made her shiver, but it didn’t frighten her like before. She could walk until she reached a village and then get back to Pendrago that way. The hard part would be taking care of the baby.

Selene bounced in place, staring into the village. Every once and a while she would see another flicker of movement in the ruins of the village, which just put her on edge. She turned in place, muttering a prayer to the seraphim under her breath as she looked around. She didn’t want to lose a moment, but it didn’t look safe in the village. She thought that they were far enough away that they wouldn’t have to worry about people coming to pick apart the battlefield. Apparently, she was wrong.

She took two steps backward, about to run when she saw something more than the insubstantial shadows moving through the flames and smoke. Selene got a better grip on her baby, staring at the shape as they continued to stumble through the main street of the village. Selene growled low in her throat, reaching up to put a protective hand on the back of the baby’s head.

There wasn’t really anywhere for her to run, not that she could run too far. Her only chance was to find a stick and beat whoever was coming towards her, but even that might not work. Selene bared her teeth, taking slow steps backward as the figure stumbled out of the smoke.

The person blinked at her for a moment before reaching up to wipe at his face. All that did was push the soot around on his face. It wasn’t until the person stumbled closer that she recognized him. “M-Michael?”

“Selene?” He broke into a run, coming to an awkward stop in front of her. He looked her over, his shock quickly to turning to wariness. Michael took a step back, looking around. “Where is Heldalf?”

“Not here. He’s back at the camp.”

“Then why?”

“I’m here to bury the bodies.” Selene tipped her chin up, looking Michael up and down. For the first time since she had known him, he looked something other than tired and run down. Now he looked angry. She bared her teeth, taking a step forward. The display didn’t make Michael back down, he just growled back.

Selene stared at Michael, more surprised by sound than anything. She didn’t think that he had been capable of the noise. She shifted the baby away from him, the motion startling him.

“Mikleo!” He started forward, Selene twisted away from him.

“NO!”

Her scream stopped him short, Michael staring at her. He still had one arm reaching out like he was going to take her baby away from her, but he had stopped. Michael tipped his head to the side, staring at the baby. She expected him to make another grab for him, but Michael just made a pained sound and took a step back.

He reached out to scrub a hand over his face, smearing more soot. “I thought…I thought…”

Selene watched him for a moment before slumping. She turned her head to rub her cheek against her baby’s head to comfort herself. Michael might have thought the two of them were Muse and Mikleo from a distance, but it must have hurt more to find out that it wasn’t. The alternative was easy to figure out, especially with a few flames still burning in the village.

She bit her lip, closing her eyes as she felt tears start to roll down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never thought he would-”

“He destroyed everything.” She opened her eyes to look at Michael, watching as he turned in place. She couldn’t see his expression, but she was almost glad that she couldn’t. “There’s nothing left. Even Maotelus.”

Selene nodded. “They’re celebrating that back at the camp.”

“Of course they would.” Michael rounded on her. “Anything to keep your war going.”

“Not my war!” Selene growled at that. “Do you think I would have wanted this? Do you really think I wanted everyone dead after everything they had done for me? Why do you think I’m the only one here?”

Michael looked her up and down, some of his anger draining away. He slumped in exhaustion, Selene relaxing slowly as well. She recognized this Michael more than the one who looked ready to run down the path to the camp. He stumbled back a few steps before just falling to the ground. Selene yelped and stepped forward to help him, but Michael seemed perfectly content to sit on the ground with his head in his hands.

Selene watched him for a moment before sinking down beside him. She gave the burning village one last look before sighing and looking down at her baby. “I should have known that he was going to try something. He never wanted peace, but he’s been following the emperor’s orders perfectly. I was just so caught up in this…dream of being out of the world and in love.”

Michael snorted at that, Selene looking over at him. He had dropped his hands from his face, but he wasn’t looking at her. “Men like him don’t know how to love.”

Selene felt a jolt of anger, but it was quick to burn out. She didn’t want to defend Georg. She didn’t even want to think about him. She had been tricked just like the people of Camlann. Selene just settled for a nod, looking down at her baby. “I can see that now. I had just thought…” She paused to laugh at herself. “I was a dumb girl following dumb stories.”

She was glad that Michael didn’t agree, because she wasn’t sure what she would do. If she said it enough, maybe she would finally get it through her head. There was still some part of her that piped up that things would be better if she went back to the camp and apologized. Then things could go back to the way that they had been before. Then she could have all the help that she needed. Then she wouldn’t be alone and scared. But that wouldn’t fix anything. She would have to live knowing that something like Camlann could happen again, and that she would have to be okay with it.

She ducked her head, biting her lip when the baby started fussing again. His cries were weak, but it was loud enough to catch Michael’s attention. He turned to look at her, his gaze dropping down to the baby.

He stared at the baby with something like incomprehension. It only lasted a moment before he leaned forward, frowning down at the baby. “He’s early.”

“I don’t know what to do.” The words came out in a rush before she could stop herself. Selene met Michael’s gaze, holding it.

Michael looked shocked, his fingers twitching against his leg. His mouth worked for a moment before he shook his head. “I don’t know what to do either. But I think I know something that could help.” He paused to glance over at the village. “We’ll need supplies anyway. There won’t be much for us in Camlann. We’ll need to put the fire out too.”

Michael looked up at the sky, Selene following his gaze. She stared up at the bright blue sky. They wouldn’t be getting any help from that quarter, and Selene didn’t think that she would make the trek back and forth from the river. Now that she had sat down, she didn’t think that she could get up again. Selene closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths before she turned to look at Michael. “When you get back, we can start working.”

“Maybe not. It looks like rain.”

Selene frowned at him, watching as Michael walked off. It looked nothing like rain and she couldn’t imagine how Michael had reached that conclusion. Even with some of his quirks he was never gone so far to be crazy. Then again, he had walked through all of Camlann, Selene was sure that was enough to break anyone. Still, she wouldn’t say no to his help. The job was too big for one person.

She sighed and looked back at the flames, reaching up to wipe her tears away. In the middle of the motion she thought she saw something moving through the flames, cradling something in their arms, but they were gone a moment later. Selene stared at the burning village before looking down at the baby in her arms.

He was still wiggling a bit with a disgruntled look on his face, but he wasn’t crying. He probably didn’t have the energy. She bit her lip and stroked her fingers over his face. “Between the three of us we’ll figure this out. Don’t worry, little one.” She paused to look him over, carefully tucking the blanket more securely around him. “There you go, little Sorey.”

The name slipped out, Selene cocking her head to the side. Sorey had been one of the names that she had thought over but rejected for some reason she couldn’t remember. But she did know that she had never shared it with Georg, and that made it better. It was something between the two of them, something that she had decided on her own.

She smiled down at him, adjusting her hold on him to keep him close. “I like the sound of that. My little Sorey.”

* * *

Selene glanced up as she heard Michael grunt. She watched as he pulled in another body. He met her gaze, giving her a short nod before walking off. Selene watching him go before rolling her sleeves up again.

Michael had been quiet since he had returned from wherever he had found the supplies to set up their camp. Selene didn’t know how he could have done it, except that none of them looked like they had come from the Rolance army. Their supplies were more of a hodgepodge, something like a stash for supplies for emergencies. But she couldn’t imagine why Camlann would keep them, or what the white piece of fabric that Michael had secreted away was. She hadn’t gotten the chance to ask him about it, he’d just made vague gestures to the tent before going to wrestle with the goat that he had brought too. At least the goat’s purpose had been obvious. Between the two of them they had managed to give Sorey his first meal under the cover of a huge thunderstorm that had rolled in suddenly.

They had spent most of the night taking turns feeding Sorey in little meals, watching as the rain finally calmed the fires that raged through Camlann. It seemed like the rain had worked on Michael as well, the man sinking into himself as the fires had left behind blackened and burnt houses.

If the storm itself wasn’t a miracle enough, the fact that Camlann remained free of mud was another one. Selene had expected to be slogging through mud to deal with the bodies, but the village was still dry. She had made a circuit of the village to check the distance of the miracle, and it was firmly within the bounds. Everyone outside was sloppy and impossible to pass through, something that Selene was almost gleeful about. Heldalf and his soldiers wouldn’t be going anywhere, and she wished them their misery. They deserved every moment of it.

Selene fiddled with her sleeves, looking over to her left at the third miracle. Right beside the large rock marking the start of the village was a large hole, perfectly square and wide enough to lay people in comfortably. Selene was sure that it was probably too big for what they needed, Camlann hadn’t been a large village, but it meant that the mass grave would be comfortable. It also meant that she and Michael wouldn’t have to dig. But just how it happened was worrying.

She hadn’t been able to get a straight answer out of Michael, he had shut down sometime the night before. When she had woken up, she had seen him playing with the white fabric, although he had tucked it away again before she could ask anything. Then, he had left immediately to start the job of dragging the bodies in.

Selene sighed and closed her eyes, taking a brief moment for herself.

Everything still hurt. Even moving slightly made everything ache. It was obvious that she had exerted herself too soon after giving birth, but Selene was sure that she would be fine as long as nothing started bleeding unduly. At least, more than what Muse had warned her about.

Selene sighed, securing her sleeves before taking a moment to look over at Sorey. He was sleeping peacefully, which was good. She reached into his swaddle to check if he was warm, smiling when he made a soft noise in his sleep. It was still a few hours to go until his next feeding, but she couldn’t help but worry. Alexs had said to be careful, and Selene was sure he hadn’t meant for her to charge up to Camlann and have Sorey close to dead bodies.

She tucked him in securely before turning back around to her pot of warm water. There was another pot boiling over the fire they had going, preparing her next batch.

The bodies might be half burnt and brutally carved up in places, and there was no way to find enough formal clothing for all of them, but there was no reason that they couldn’t go to their rest properly cleaned.

Selene shook out her hands, pausing to give the makeshift cradle one more glance before picking up her rag and moving to the next body. The man was the last in her line, which meant that all five of them would be transferred into the grave as soon as Michael came back. All five of them would be put into neat rows and straightened to the best of their abilities, and then they would repeat until everyone in Camlann had received the attention due to them.

She sighed and crouched down by the man, gently cleaning the blood off of his face. Usually this would be done by the family, but his family was laid out along the row with him. His mate was beside him, and their daughter was the next one down. Usually they would have gotten a wake, where the family and village would sit in the next room and honor his life with stories and songs. The priestess would have come the next day to take the man to the shrinechurch to be buried in the graveyard with prayers to follow him on. The man might not get all of that in that order, but he would have a proper burial. All of them would.

Selene moved down his side, picking up his hands to clean them. She reached out to straighten out his clothes, brushing the worst of the soot off of them and doing up a few buttons. There was no hiding the slash across his stomach, but there were too many people with obvious wounds to hide them away.

She gave the man one last look over before moving back to the pot, singing a hymn under her breath as she moved. She wasn’t sure that it was appropriate, but it was her favorite and it felt fitting. It was a song of blessing, and the people of Camlann needed it especially.

Selene dunked the cloth back into the water, wringing it out. She looked up when she heard someone walking towards her, standing up quickly when she saw Michael returning. The expression on his face was different. She had gotten used to the closed off look on his face, but he looked broken now. Tears were streaming down his face as he hauled the next body in.

She stepped around the end of the row of bodies, hurrying over to Michael. Selene reached out to touch his shoulder, relieved when he didn’t try to move away. If anything, he leaned into her touch. Selene squeezed his shoulder, watching as his mouth moved for a moment, Michael struggling for a moment to get the words out.

“I found her. I found Muse.”

Selene twisted to look at the body, her breath catching in her throat when she saw Muse on the blanket. She was sprawled out, her eyes closed. Selene doubted that they had been that way when Michael had found her, especially with the way that part of her head had been smashed in. The hair on that side of Muse’s head was matted with blood, Selene’s fingers twitching. She would wash it out the best that she could and braid Muse’s hair, just like she had taken care of everyone that Michael had found.

She squeezed Michael’s shoulder again, trying to find words of comfort that wouldn’t just ring hollow. Her gaze fell on the blanket that Muse had clutched in her hand, Selene’s heart pounding when she recognized the embroidered orange birds and anemone flowers. It was Mikleo’s blanket; she had seen it wrapped around him every time she had visited. It was strange to see it without Mikleo tucked in it. It was wrong.

Selene swallowed and got a better hold on Michael’s shoulder. “Michael, where’s Mikleo?”

Michael gave her a hopeless look, shaking his head. “I don’t know.”

“No.” She looked around frantically. Mikleo was just a baby, an innocent in all of this, but she was sure that Heldalf had given the orders for no quarter. No one would have been spared, and the soldiers would have been excited to carry it out. If someone had taken the time to smash Muse’s head in like this, they wouldn’t have hesitated for Mikleo. The thought made her sick, Selene biting her lip to keep from vomiting.

She tried to distract herself by focusing on the more important problem. They had to find Mikleo, because it wouldn’t be right to bury Muse without him there. They had to be together.

“Michael…”

“I don’t know. I looked all over the house and all around, but there was nothing.”

Selene stared at him, trying to process what Michael was saying. She had traveled with those men, listening to them talk about their families or their hope for a family, but then she had seen what they had done to some of the children in Camlann. It made her sick, because the only thing that had mattered was that these children were on the wrong side of the border. It made her want to charge down the hill to the camp and beat them up herself.  They might not all be hellions, but they were just as monstrous for this.

She let go of Michael’s shoulder to run her hands through her hair. “Where else could he be?”

“With the priestess, but he wasn’t there.” Michael looked at her, looking completely lost. “Would they have taken him?”

Selene shook her head. She couldn’t see anyone trying to bring Mikleo back, to save him or otherwise. Heldalf wouldn’t have allowed Mikleo to live either way. It would ruin his story. “He has to be somewhere here.”

“But _where_.” Michael dropped the blanket, reaching out to grab her. “If he’s not with Muse then he could be alive. I might not have failed everyone.”

Selene opened her mouth, but stopped herself short. She didn’t know what to tell him because nothing would help. She couldn’t tell him that his nephew was still alive, because she wasn’t sure that it was true. But telling him that seemed to be worse.

She patted at his arm, trying to come up with something when she heard someone clear their throat.

Selene tensed twisting around to look back at where she had left Sorey peacefully sleeping. She fully expected Heldalf to be standing there, but instead there was an elderly man standing by Sorey’s crib. Selene started forward when she saw that the man was holding Sorey in his arms, ready to snatch her son away from him when Michael grabbed onto her.

She turned to look back at him, watching as he bowed to the old man. “Lord Zenrus.”

Zenrus gave a nod to the two of them, his gaze moving back to Selene. “I apologize for my forwardness. But I can’t ignore the sound of a baby crying, and this little guy was hungry.” He held up the makeshift bottle that she and Michael had been using before offering it to Sorey again. The action occupied his attention for a while, Zenrus looking back up when Sorey was occupied. “I see the reason for you needing to borrow one of the goats.”

Michael stepped away from her, walking forward quickly. “Lord Zenrus, thank you for your help with the storm. But-”

“You should thank Cynthia and Laurence for their work, they did far more than I did.” Zenrus smiled down at Sorey before looking up. “But you want to know about your nephew.”

Michael took another step forward, Selene hearing the longing in his voice. “You have Mikleo? He’s alive? He’s safe?”

Zenrus’ face fell, his gaze dropping back to Sorey. “Camlann was a calamity that could have been stopped, but we were too afraid to put ourselves in danger, and everyone who followed you here suffered for that.”

“E-everyone.”

“I’m sorry, Michael. I promised to watch over this village to match our hopes but…” Zenrus took a deep breath, giving Michael a sorrowful look. “I wish I could have prevented it. But I promise that we will take care of him.”

Michael shook, Selene confused by his reaction. It sounded like Zenrus was telling him that Mikleo was alive, which should have made him happy. But he wasn’t reacting like that, which confused her. Selene reached out to touch Michael’s shoulder, surprised when he stepped away from her. She turned to look at him, watching as he walked over to where Muse was still laid out on the blanket.

He bent down beside his sister, Michael pulling the circlet from her forehead. He stared at it for a moment before folding it into Mikleo’s blanket and walking back to Zenrus. He bowed to the elderly man, holding the circlet out to him. “Give him this.”

Zenrus tipped his head to the side, looking Michael over before a look of understanding crossed his face. “Are you sure?”

Michael nodded. “They have Maotelus, and that’s my fault. They’ll use him to march straight into Hyland. The malevolence will grow and …it would be better if I wasn’t there. Besides, Lailah is in Ladylake.”

“I see.” Zenrus gave him a serious nod. “If you think that’s best.”

“What else can I do?” Michael shrugged, Selene watching as he slumped.

She didn’t understand the conversation. They were speaking on a different level and it was frustrating.

It didn’t stop her from walking forward to touch Michael’s shoulder. She was surprised when he leaned into her, like she was the only thing holding him up. She gave him a quick glance before looking over at Zenrus.

The old man had finished feeding Sorey and was now gently rubbing his back. He didn’t seem to care about the eventual small mess that might happen. Zenrus seemed to be perfectly content to hold him. He stroked a hand down Sorey’s back, his gaze sliding over to Selene. He smiled at her, giving her a nod. “Thank you for this.”

At a loss for what to do, she gave him a measured bow like Michael had. “It had to be done.”

“And yet you’re the only one who is doing this.” Zenrus sighed, looking down at Sorey. Selene tensed when he brushed a finger across Sorey’s forehead. Her eyes widened as she saw the flicker of a spark and the arc of lightning play over his fingers. The spark shone with a strange yellow light, the lightning dropping onto Sorey.

Sorey jerked slightly, but it looked like nothing more than surprise. That didn’t stop her from starting forward, Selene watching Sorey carefully. He didn’t seem to be in pain, just more interested in the strange person that was holding him. If it was a person at all.

Selene felt her breath catch in her throat, her gaze dropping to the lightning dancing around his fingers. It flickered and flared before dying out, Zenrus gently shaking his hand. He reached down to tuck a stray bit of blanket back into place, smiling down at Sorey. He nodded before looking back up at her. “A blessing, for your child, as should have been done. Something to keep him healthy and happy. I wish I could have done more…”

Zenrus’ gaze moved away from Sorey and to the bodies that were carefully laid out. He frowned down at them, shaking his head. “Whatever you need, we will provide. It is the least we can do after all of this.”

Michael shook his head. “Lord Zenrus…”

“You built this place to get away from the war, and protect each other. We didn’t hold up our end of the bargain.” Zenrus gave Michael a bow. “Please, forgive us for letting our fears conquer us.”

Michael shifted in place, Selene looking at him. His face twisted, Selene sure that he was going to say something, but that just disappeared into the more familiar exhaustion. “Forgive me for failing.”

Zenrus shook his head. “That would mean that you stopped trying.”

Michael made a chocked sound, but Selene didn’t get the chance to catch his expression because Zenrus was waving her over. She stepped forward, taking Sorey from his arms and cradling him. Sorey’s gaze jumped to her before sliding away to something else. He wiggled in her arms, Selene surprised at how energetic he was. She looked up at Zenrus, holding her baby close. “Thank you.”

Zenrus reached out to touch her wrist, giving it a squeeze. Then he was turning and walking away, Selene watching as he made his way back up to the mountain. He moved far more easily than she expected from such an old man, but there was no mistaking the power that seemed to roll off him. It was a wonder that she had missed it in the first place. She took a deep breath, looking back over at Michael. “T-that was a seraph.”

Michael didn’t respond immediately. He stared after Zenrus before rubbing a hand over his face. She saw his shoulders shake, Selene forgetting her elation for worry.

Zenrus hadn’t answered their questions about Mikleo, at least not in a way that she understood. She stepped back towards him, pausing when he looked up. His expression was blank, Selene staring at him for a while before she braced Sorey against her shoulder with one arm. She opened her other up to Michael. It was an automatic response, something that she had always done for any of the ladies-in-waiting. Selene didn’t expect him to take the offer, but Michael stumbled forward.

He tipped forward into her, but didn’t fall completely against her. He just rested his head on her shoulder.

Selene looked down at him, curling her arm slightly to pat his back. She felt Michael shudder before he relaxed into her. He turned his head slightly, just enough so she could hear him when she spoke. “You’re lucky. Not many people can say they’ve met a seraph before.”

His words sounded flat and dull, Selene not sure what to make of it. With anyone else at any other time, it would have been something joyous or something to celebrate. Then again, there was very little to celebrate. Selene looked around before shaking her head. “At least Mikleo is alive.”

Michael made a choked sound, Selene startling at it. He shoulders twitched for a moment, Selene almost sure that Michael was laughing. She was almost relieved that he was crying when he looked up. She stroked her hand down his back, muttering soothing nonsense. Selene wasn’t sure if it worked, or if Michael was so exhausted that he couldn’t keep it up. He just slumped against her for a moment before pushing away.

Selene turned to watch him go, biting her lip at the way that he slumped. Michael had never been the happiest person that she had met, but this seemed to be pushing him towards the end of his endurance. Selene wasn’t sure if he would just push himself too far or if he’d succumb to the malevolence and transform into a hellion. The thought made her hold Sorey a tightly, Selene rocking automatically as he started to fuss. She stared after Michael, watching as he shuffled down the street and back into the wreckage of Camlann.

* * *

The seraphim came down the mountain at sunset.

Selene looked up from where she was feeding Sorey, jumping at the ranks of seraphim that suddenly appeared. She stared at them, her mouth dropping open.

No one could expect to see so many in their lifetime. All of the seraphim were serving with the army in seraphic weapons. Selene flinched at the thought, feeling the echoes of the same glory of the empire mindset that drove Heldalf. She wasn’t sure if the seraphim would see it that way, especially with the way that they were staring at her in shock. A few of them backed away, starting to move into a tight group. Selene caught a glimpse of a small bundle that one of the seraphim was holding, perking up at the sight of it.

She got to her feet, forgetting the fear in the seraphim’s eyes in the hopes of a glimpse of Mikleo. She trusted that Zenrus wouldn’t lie to them, but she wanted to see the baby with her own eyes. She wanted to know that he was safe and healthy after everything that had been done. Selene leaned to the side, frowning when the seraphim closed ranks. She went to take a step forward, about to call out for Zenrus to ask him the favor when a hand rested heavily on her shoulder.

Selene turned to look at Michael, her eyes widening when she saw the cloak that he wore. She swallowed and stepped away from him, looking him up and down. Some part of her recognized the white fabric from when Michael had come back with the supplies. It had been bundled up and tucked under his arm, but that hadn’t been enough to hide some of the more distinctive black shapes.

She stepped away from him, taking a deep breath as she tried to figure out what to do. She had never trained in this etiquette, because there hadn’t been a Shepherd in years. The church had always said that the seraphim were working with them well enough that a Shepherd wasn’t needed. Besides, the problem of the malevolence came from Hyland, so the sure way to take care of it would be to defeat them. The Shepherd had been whispered about in the same way that the seraphim were, a semi-mythical person that had practically vanished into the mists of time.

Selene took another step back, watching as Michael approached the seraphim, the man skirting around the grave. He came to a stop in front of them, Selene expecting the seraphim to scatter. Instead, they gathered around him. Selene was too far away to hear them say anything, but it was obvious that they were all acquainted.

They talked in low voices, a few of them glancing over at her and then twisting to draw Michael deeper. Selene leaned forward, some part of her wishing that she could be included, but that wouldn’t happen. If the seraphim lived up the mountain, then they knew that she had come with Heldalf and his army. They could probably still smell him on her. Selene shuddered and dropped her gaze. To them, she was just another part of Rolance, which made her feel like she needed to leave. It was her people, her former lover that had caused this destruction.

She took a step back, ready to walk away and walk Sorey around for a bit. She didn’t get far, Selene jerking to a stop when she saw Zenrus standing behind her. She stared at him for a moment, only bowing when Sorey babbled and flailed. She only managed to get partway through the motion before Zenrus shook his head.

“Please, stay. You’ve done us a favor.”

“But-”

“Fear is a hard thing to eliminate, but we have to try. Not all humans are our enemies, we have to remember that. We can’t put all of our hopes on the Shepherd.”

Selene looked back over at where Michael was standing among the seraphim. She couldn’t focus on his face, her gaze slipping back down to the cloak. “I didn’t know.”

“No one did. He was retired. It’s not a kind world to seraphim or Shepherds.”

There was nothing to do but nod. The world wasn’t kind to anyone anymore, and Selene was sure that it was going to get worse. Heldalf would ride back into Pendragon with promises of glory and Maotelus, and there was nothing that she could do. The force of Rolance’s disapproval would fall on Emperor Dorann, and he only had limited choices. He could ignore them and risk himself in the tide of outrage or he could give in and push the nation into war again. Selene wasn’t sure how Rolance would fare if that happened, she hadn’t paid attention before because the emperor’s word was law. But she knew better.

She shifted her hold on Sorey, watching as Zenrus leaned closer to look at him. The old seraph smiled, giving Sorey a tiny wave. Sorey squealed, but he didn’t move more than that. Selene gave him a worried look, checking to be sure that he was okay. Zenrus had blessed him, but she wasn’t sure the extent of it. He could be alright and more lively today and then slowly go back to the way he had been over time. Then again, it would give him an edge that he hadn’t had before, and she would take anything that she got.

Zenrus looked back up at the seraphim, the corner of his mouth twisting. “I wish I could just do more. A blessing and a promise seem like too little after everything that had happened. We were the ones that kept him away after all.” Zenrus gave her a wry smile. “I was begging him to take up the Shepherd’s mantle again while his village burned. It seems a bit too much like fate.”

Selene shivered at the thought, looking back at Michael. “I don’t like that.”

“What?”

“Fate.” She looked back at him. “I makes it feel like all of our choices mean nothing if they’re only heading in one direction.”

Zenrus chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re not one to be pushed around.”

“My aunt calls me too stubborn for my own good.”

Zenrus hummed, the smile not leaving his face. “Humans are that.” He tipped his head back, looking at the sky before sighing. He stepped around her, walking over to the gathering of seraphim. “It’s time.”

He didn’t speak too loudly, but all the seraphim turned to face him. They moved away from Michael, circling around the grave. One of the seraphim in yellow moved close to the pile of dirt. She hovered her hand over it before making a gentle motion towards the grave. The dirt started to roll over the grave in careful waves. The dirt covered the bodies, moving to the edge of the grave and filling in the gaps.

Selene watched the movement of the earth, her stomach twisting. She might not have known all the villagers well, but the sight of it made her want to scream with rage. They had been innocent of any crime, but they were now joining the ranks of the dead just because of one man’s belief that the war must go on. She curled her fingers slightly, stopping herself from doing anything more dramatic. Heldalf wasn’t here, and charging into the camp on her own would get nothing done. The men were too loyal, and she wouldn’t make it too far. Her only recourse was to make his life miserable in another way.

She ducked her head as the seraphim began to speak prayers and blessings, pushing thoughts of revenge away. They could wait for a while longer, just until her duty to the villagers was done. They deserved a quiet and respectful funeral.

Selene swayed in place to the song that the seraphim were singing. She found herself humming along, most of the words lost on her, but they sounded right. It sounded like the kind of thing that should be sung, Selene closing her eyes. She thought she heard Michael’s voice rise among them, but he blended in quickly. The song rose to a high point before dying down again, Selene sighing and slowing down with it. She heard a final shushing sound as the last of the dirt was pushed over the grave. And then there was silence.

Selene opened her eyes, watching as the seraphim started to shuffle away, leaving Michael standing at the head of the grave Selene watched him and felt her heart ache. She glanced up at where the seraphim were heading back up the mountain in a quiet, single file line before making her decision.

She walked over to where they had left the last part of the grave. Selene stooped to pick up the board that the two of them had worked on the night before, the two of them passing the board back and forth when their hands cramped from the names that had been carved into it.

She carried it over to Michael, holding it out as she stopped beside him. He continued to stare at the grave for a while longer before he looked over at her. He nodded and went to get the stick that they had carefully carved to fit in a slot in the piece of wood and a rock. He hefted both, Selene moving to hold the board in place.

Michael hammered the board of names into place, taking the stick from her to hammer it into the ground at the head of the grave. Michael leaned on the board, wiggling it to be sure that it would stay before stepping back. Michael stared at the rock in his hand before letting it fall away. Selene watched as his hand flexed, then Michael was turning away.

Selene turned to watch him go, her gaze dropping to the bag that Michael was heading for. She must have made a sound, because Michael turned around to look at her.

He remained still for a long moment before he smiled, the expression throwing her off. She didn’t think that she had ever seen him smile, not even before Camlann had been destroyed. He had always been turned inward, focused on either his nephew or his book. Then again, it made sense now. The world couldn’t have been kind to a Shepherd, not in the middle of a war. The scars were there, she had just missed them.

Selene watched him before giving him a nod. “Thank you, Michael. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

“I think you would have gotten along alright.” Michael picked up his bag, swinging it over his shoulder. He paused there, his fingers playing over the straps. “Thank you for caring. I don’t think I could have done this alone.”

Selene walked up to him, shifting Sorey to the other shoulder. “You’re leaving now?”

Michael nodded slowly. “It’s a long walk to Ladylake and time isn’t on my side. Heldalf will be sending the news back, and another army will be coming. They have Maotelus, so nothing can stop them.”

Selene shivered, but she didn’t bother to try and argue. She knew how politics moved in Pendrago, and there were plenty of people who would jump at the chance to invade Hyland. Nothing would stop them from pouring over the border. She didn’t know what Michael would do against that, but the Shepherd was a mysterious person, and she trusted in that. In the legends the Shepherds had worked miracles, and she had seen Michael work plenty.

Selene reached out her free hand, offering it to Michael. “Travel safe, Shepherd Michael.”

“You too, Selene.” Michael stumbled over her last name before shaking his head. He just smiled at her before reaching back into his bag. He rooted around in it while he talked. “Where are you going? Back to Heldalf?”

Selene wrinkled her nose. “No. I may go back to camp, but I’m not staying with him. I’m going back to Pendrago.”

“Then you’ll be needing this.” Michael pulled a book out of his back, Selene staring in incomprehension at the cover. She didn’t have long to study the cover because Michael opened it up to a few familiar pages.

She gasped, recognizing the pages she had sewn together. “Your book.”

Michael nodded, flipping it shut before holding it out to her. “Take it.”

“I couldn’t.”

“I don’t need it, I won’t have the time for it. I wrote it to show people the world, so you might as well take it. You left to see the world after all.” Michael gave a jagged laugh before he shook his head. “Besides, there’s no point in doing all of this if others are just going to mess it up. It will serve better in a royal library than in the pack of a Shepherd.”

He pressed the book into her hand, Selene glancing down at it. She studied the cover, looking over the design painted there before looking up. By then, Michael was walking away. Selene stepped after him, not sure what she was going to do if she caught up to him. There was no question that a Shepherd was needed, as were cooler heads in Pendrago. She just didn’t want this to be fleeting, because she had been happy in Camlann. But there was nothing left of Camlann but memories, so maybe it was best if the two of them moved on.

She looked up to watch Michael walk away for a moment before turning back to their small fire. Michael could just walk off into the night, but she couldn’t. The camp would have guards and she was not interested in being attacked in the dark. She would wait until the morning before returning. If she was lucky, they would be gone and she would have to walk to the next town. If not, then she would have to make her demands and ride home. She was sure that Heldalf wouldn’t be opposed, he was probably just as ready to get rid of her and get back to his agenda.

Selene snorted and settled down by the fire, shifting Sorey into a comfortable position. “We’ll see about that, won’t we Sorey?” She smiled down at her son. “We’ll see how far that bastard gets with his plans.”

Sorey made a babbling sound that might have been a giggle, Selene laughing back at him. She leaned over to press their foreheads together. She watched him for a moment before sitting up. Her gaze drifted back to the book, Selene stroking her fingers over the cover. Sorey would need to be fed in a bit, and she wasn’t feeling tired. The seraphim’s song still rang in her head, and the night was cool and calm.

Selene took a deep breath, holding it in for a moment before letting it out. She shifted in place, flipping open Michael’s book with one hand while she looked over at Sorey. “How about a little reading before bed?” She paused long enough to see Sorey flail out with an arm before turning her attention to the first page and reading out loud.

“The earliest human societies were unware of the existence of seraphim…”

* * *

Selene checked on the sling that Sorey was nestled in, reaching back to tug the knot tighter. She smiled down at him, although she was sure that Sorey didn’t see it. He was too busy looking around the camp. He had been since they had walked back in a few hours ago. It was more movement than he had seen in his short life. Selene was just glad that he was entertained, because it meant that he was busy while she gathered together what she needed to go back to Pendrago.

To her surprise and dismay, the camp had still been in place, although Selene couldn’t image why. Heldalf was losing precious maneuvering time to wait for her, if he was doing that at all. The very thought made Selene want to laugh. If Heldalf thought that she would be calm now that the villagers were buried, then he underestimated her.

She glanced around the camp, watching as it burst into motion. She frowned at that, tracking the motion of the soldiers. Selene shook her head, continuing her checks. The horse’s tack was secure, and Sorey was as secure as she could make him. Selene reached back to check for the bottles that Alexs had prepared for her. They would get them through the day, and by then they should be somewhere where she could stock up again. She didn’t dare carry too much in case it spoiled. Zenrus’ blessing or not, Sorey still needed careful attention. She wasn’t about to risk him just for her own convenience, even if it would make the trip back to Pendrago longer. Heldalf would have just as long of a trip. If he wanted to spread the story of his glory, he would have to continue his circuit of the border. Besides, it would win him more lies to tell everyone back in court.

She tightened her holds on the reins, sighing when the horse tossed its head. Selene shushed it, her attention momentarily distracted by Sorey’s squeal. It wasn’t a happy sound, Selene’s attention going to her son. She reached down to pull him close, muttering soothing nonsense to Sorey. The horse was quick to calm down, the animal more than happy to stop moving one the pressure was off of its mouth. Sorey seemed less convinced, Selene continuing to talk to him until the horse snorted and jerked its head up.

She leaned back, one arm pressed protectively against Sorey. The horse’s head jerked a few more time as Heldalf tugged hard at the reins.

Selene hissed and snatched them back from him. “You’re not helping, Heldalf.”

That got him to stop, Heldalf staring up at her in shock. Selene cued the horse to back away a few more steps, seeing Noah and Raymond fall back with her. They were the only soldiers that Heldalf could spare for her, something that made her want to growl. Then again, she didn’t want to take anything else from him. He could take his soldiers and shout about continuing the war to desperate villages. She would do everything she could to make him fail.

She lifted her chin slightly, looking down on him. He leaned in, Selene huffing and turning her head away. She thought she heard him growl at that, and it was hard to fight back a smile but she kept herself in check. There was no point in angering him now, not when Michael was still walking to Ladylake. She didn’t know what the Shepherd was planning, but she might as well give him the time to set things into motion. She would need the time as well. When Heldalf got back to Pendrago, he had to be faced with nothing but opposition. Besides, it would give her time to secure Sorey so Heldalf would never get his hands on him.

Selene gave Heldalf one last look before turning her horse away. She didn’t get too far before Heldalf was calling out to her.

“Are you sure about this? The way back to Pendrago is dangerous.”

Selene raised one shoulder in a shrug. “I’m traveling through Rolance, surely there’s nothing there that can harm me.”

“It would be safer if-”

“I’ve been away from home long enough. Besides, I want my aunt to meet Sorey.” She turned her head just in time to see Heldalf’s face twist in disgust. She didn’t know what he had been calling her baby in his mind, but it was obvious that he didn’t like the name that she had chosen. Selene tipped her head, watching him carefully.

Heldalf’s face evened out and he gave her a cautious nod. His fingers played with the reins, Selene surprised to see some kind of regret. She was sure that it wasn’t because of the people of Camlann, it was probably because of her. Once that would have made her blush and grin, because it was someone interested in her, but that seemed like such a childish thing now. It was all flattery with no substance. Heldalf would recover, she was sure of it. He had recovered from Kara well enough after all. There were plenty of women who would be attracted by a man in a military uniform who could tell them about the glory of Rolance. A weapon with Maotelus bound to it would make him all the more impressive. He was all of Rolance’s prayers answered, a shining example of all the best of the empire.

Selene’s gaze flickered to where Camlann had been. That was the empire that they all wanted, revenge for countless raids and the extermination of Hyland. Selene wasn’t even sure why. She just knew it was something that they were all told.

She cleared her throat, reaching up to check on the knot that held the sling in place before looking back down at Heldalf. He looked hopeful, with the same soft expression on his face that he’d had during the many balls they had attended together. It was something that made her heart sing and her mind cry out a warning. She had seen what was behind that look, and it frightened her.

She gave him a measured nod, relieved when Heldalf stepped away. It took more than she was willing to admit to speak to him, Selene trying to keep her voice steady. “Georg.”

He returned the nod. “Ride safe, Selene.”

Selene was glad to take that as a dismissal. She clucked to the horse, turning it carefully before urging it into a quick walk. It wasn’t fast enough to lose her escort, she just wanted to put the camp as far behind her as possible. The further she got away from Georg Heldalf the better.

She turned her head to look at the two men riding with her. Raymond was looking around industriously, the young man probably on the watch for enemies. Selene smiled, not bothering to tell him to stop. He was a young man and probably looking to work his way up through the ranks. She wanted to tell him that it wouldn’t be worth it, because the war wasn’t worth it, but she doubted that he would believe her. He was too young to have seen through the speech about the glories of war. She would let him tire himself out searching for enemies that weren’t there.

She turned to look at Noah, watching as the older man settled into place. He was probably the steadier of the two, and she was glad of it. She would always welcome another pair of hands to help setting up camp and with Sorey, and she knew Noah.

He felt her gaze and turned to look at her, Noah giving her a respectful nod. “Lady Vass.”

Selene opened her mouth to tell him to stop calling her that, but he was quick to look away. She felt her stomach twist, Selene looking back down at Sorey’s head.

It was obvious that Noah felt guilty, but for exactly what she didn’t know. She was almost afraid to ask because some part of her didn’t want to know the answer. She didn’t want to hear that he had been afraid to disobey Heldalf or that he was sorry about Camlann, if only because Muse could have helped her. She didn’t want the careful facsimile of friendship that the two of them had built up to come crashing down, at least not while they were on the road. She wanted allies, if only temporarily.

It made her wish that she had Michael back with her.

Selene looked back at her saddlebags, tempted to reach back and pat the book that was resting there. She wanted to take it out and keep reading, but she didn’t trust herself to balance on the horse and read. She also didn’t want either of her escort asking about it. Michael needed every chance he could get to run to Ladylake. Maybe she would pull it out at night to read to Sorey before they went to sleep. Selene wasn’t sure if he understood it, but she was happy that he was happy.

She switched the reins to one hand, letting them go a little bit loose. The horse seemed to enjoy it because it stretched its neck out and settled into a more comfortable pace. Selene nodded to herself, content with it. She didn’t want to push too fast, not on Sorey’s first day of travel. They’d see how he managed over the first few days before speeding up.

She reached down to nudge her finger against Sorey’s hand. He was quick to grab for it, Sorey getting a good hold, but his attention wasn’t on her. His head was jerking back and forth as he looked around. Selene doubted that he would be able to keep up that level of energy for long, but she was happy that Sorey was having fun. The feeling of his hand around her finger was comforting, and Selene couldn’t stop smiling at him.

She shifted in the saddle, fixing her gaze on the horizon as she settled in to the saddle for the long road back to Pendrago.

* * *

Selene wandered around her aunt’s parlor, touring around its space. Nothing had changed from when she had left, which was strange. She had expected some great change to come from her absence. But things were just where she remembered.

Selene reached out to touch a project. She recognized her aunt’s needlework, sighing when she saw that Nadia was working their family home. She dragged her fingers across one of the windows. Selene smile and shifted to show Sorey the needlepoint. She was sure he didn’t really see it, but he squealed anyway. She smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah, that’s home.” Selene turned around and walked to the window. She lifted Sorey up slightly, using her free hand to point off into the distance. “If you ride for three more days that way, you’ll reach it.”

She bounced him slightly, clicking her tongue to imitate the sound of a horse. Sorey patted at her arm, making a burbling sound as he smiled. She laughed with him, slowing down so that she was just swaying. She looked out onto Pendrago, twisting slightly so that Sorey could get a better look at the city. “And this is Pendrago. This is where we live and you slept through it all.”

Sorey didn’t look repentant. He was back to looking around at the room. Selene followed his line of sight, moving over to the bookshelf. He reached out for it, Selene careful to keep him out of reach of the books. Most of them were old and covered in dust and she didn’t want to risk it. She kept her pace slow, watching Sorey for when he wanted to look at something else. He didn’t get the chance to lose interest before Selene heard the door behind her open.

It took a concerted effort not to tighten her hold on Sorey. Selene swallowed, fixing her gaze on the books. She desperately wanted to turn around, but she was terrified at the same time. She had left even after the warnings that Nadia had given to her, and she had come back with a baby. Selene was sure that it was forgivable for her aunt, but she wasn’t sure if it was forgivable for the empress. It was a thin line that Selene had never quite figured out.

She took a deep breath and turned around. She expected anger or some kind of demand of an apology, but there was nothing but wide eyed wonder. Selene sucked in a quick breath when she noticed like her aunt was slightly out of breath, like she had been running as soon as she hit the private apartments.

Nadia’s stillness only lasted for a moment, then she was striding across the room. She stopped short of Selene again, Selene watching her fingers flex and twitch. “Selene.”

She nodded at her aunt, not sure what she could say. There was an apology on the tip of her tongue, but Selene didn’t want to let it out. She might have chosen the wrong man, but she wouldn’t take her choice back. She wouldn’t give Sorey up that easily. Selene ran a hand down Sorey’s back, arresting the movement when Nadia looked over at him.

Her aunt stared for a moment before she held out her arms. “May I?”

It was meant to be a question, but Selene could hear the lingering order behind it. Nadia might be her aunt, but she never stopped being an empress. Selene swallowed and carefully handed Sorey over.

Nadia took him, automatically shifting him into the correct position. The motion was practiced, Selene expecting nothing less. Nadia had two children of her own and had raised a third by Dorann’s mistress. Selene wasn’t worried that she would drop Sorey, it was more of how she would react to him. Nadia had always made it clear that she had never liked Heldalf. Selene just barely stopped herself from jerking forward, swaying in place as Nadia looked at Sorey.

She studied him with a frown, tipping her head to the side. “He’s small.”

“He was in a rush to leave. He should have been due a week back.”

That got Nadia to look up at her, her aunt’s eyes wide. She seemed to pull Sorey closer to her protectively. “Were you alone?”

Selene shook her head, surprised when Nadia reach out for her. She allowed herself to be reeled in close, Nadia tucking her up against her side. “Good. Good.” Nadia looked back at Sorey, but she didn’t seem to really see him. “Why didn’t you come home?”

“Would I have been allowed?”

“Of course!” Nadia looked back at her. “You’re family. You belong with us. And so does he.”

Her expression softened, Nadia turning her attention back to Sorey. “He’s a lucky one to have made it this far. He’s had a bit of a rough time getting here and getting home, but he’s beautiful; with his mother’s eyes and the family nose.”

She reached up to run her finger down Sorey’s nose. He wiggled in her arms, not quite able to figure out how to show his displeasure. Nadia laughed and leaned over to rub her cheek against the top of his head. “I’m sorry, little one.”

Selene leaned closer, watching as Sorey stared at Nadia. He seemed fascinated by her jewelry, but Nadia moved away before Sorey could grab at her. She gave him a fond smile, rocking him slightly. “What’s his name?”

“Sorey. Sorey Vass.”

Nadia looked up at the addition, Selene relieved when Nadia gave her a nod. “Well then, we’ll have to get something set up for the two of you. You can go back to your old rooms if you want; Sophia and Elaine have moved out so they’ll be no one to complain when this little guy cries. We’ll have to talk about tutors, but that can wait until the two of you are settled. And maybe we should have a little party to welcome the two of you home? Just a few of the ladies still here and Dorann. Something quiet and in the garden to celebrate our new addition.”

She bounced Sorey gently in her arms, looking back up at Selene. Her smile faded a bit as she looked at Selene. Nadia tipped her head to the side. “Are you alright?”

Selene smiled down at Sorey, watching as he yawned and settled back in Nadia’s arm. He seemed perfectly happy to fall asleep, which just meant that he would be waking up hungry in an hour or so. She’d have to keep an ear out for that, but they should have gotten some of their rooms in order. Selene relaxed at that. The two of them were safe, they were home and it was all that she had wanted for the two of them. Heldalf could come back, but he would never be able to reach the two of them here. She had the bulwark of her family behind her, and they wouldn’t abandon her.

Selene leaned into her aunt and closed her eyes. She heard Nadia hum, her aunt squeezing her waist. Selene rubbed her cheek against Nadia’s, sinking back into the comfort of the familiar scents of the palace, her aunt and her baby close at hand.

END


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